Deadspin
- Yesterday - July 10, 2009
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Duan!
Farewell, Judgmental Strangers
Well Deadspin, it's been a productive day. Sunrise, sunset, the earth turns, people fall in love, a tree falls on a hipster. Does it seem like I'm stalling? Because I am. I really have nothing more to say. More »
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By yonibrennerComment by Recidivistic: I am duly impressed with the choice in music (Joe Zawinul is a freaking genius). In alcohol related news,... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Tour De France
Teammate Is Totally Undermining Lance Armstrong
Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP]
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By Tommy CraggsComment by Orr's crabapples: Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before 1 Responses | Other threads
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Alex Rodriguez
Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson Have Cozy Lover's Dinner With Bob Costas And Wife
Possible conversation topics: Goldie Hawn's radiant skin, Selena Roberts' lesbianism, 'Whatever happened to the kid in "Almost Famous"?', Ken Burns: toupee or not toupee, depreciation of Manhattan real estate market, Clete Boyer, "BASEketball." [NYP]
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By DAULERIOComment by Eamus Catuli: Bob: So, tell me, how DO you lose a guy in 10 days? A-Rod: Well after you bang him, you... 3 Responses | Other threads
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Media Meltdowns
Have You Heard Of This Tebow Kid?
I know summers are slow for football columnists, but if Ivan Maisel is already dipping into the "Tebow as Glorious Leader" well in early July—apparently, he's a bit religious!—it's going to be a very long September. [ESPN]
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Comment by Weed Against Speed: Why does that guy that Tebow is carrying have a couple of leeches where his eyebrows should be? 2 Responses | Other threads
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martellus bennett
Your Awkward And Vaguely Racist Video of the Day: Black Olympics
If you are a connoisseur of sophisticated social satire in the tradition of Mark Twain and Jonathan Swift, prepare yourself for Martellus Bennett's latest opus. It is entitled-simply, eloquently-Black Olympics. More »
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By yonibrennerComment by Matt Sussman: Black Olympics? What kind of cotton-pickin' idea is that? 8 Responses | Other threads
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Conspiracy Theories
The Erin Andrews Chin Incident: A Reconstruction
What really happened on that fateful night when America's Sideline Princess was viciously attacked by flying baseballs? Just how bad were her injuries? Where was the ball boy/girl for protection? Why is there no video evidence? What are they hiding?! More »
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Comment by Bobby Big Wheel: We need a commission to investigate this. I nominate Warren Buffett to chair it. 4 Responses | Other threads
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Why your stadium sucks
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Oriole Park At Camden Yards
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Oriole Park at Camden Yards. More »
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By Tommy CraggsComment by ClintonPortishead: So, uh, why exactly does it suck? Because it inspired other, less quality copycats? And is a physical representation of... 4 Responses | Other threads
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artie lange
Buckhunter Artie Lange Charged With DUI
Artie Lange, ever the unlucky Pierre, has been popped on suspicion of DUI, Joe Buck's favorite web site is reporting. That is a disgusting act. [TMZ]
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By Tommy CraggsComment by apostles03: What does this have to do with sports? Unless this fat fuck is a sumo wrestler... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Nfl
GUEST RANT: The Flea-Flicker
Since this is the biggest sports audience I will probably ever have, I might as well go public with my longstanding NFL rant: the flea-flicker is not a trick-play. It's a play-fake. And it should be called once a quarter. More »
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By yonibrennerComment by Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Next week on using Madden strategies in real life: Why You Should Never Punt on 4th Down 4 Responses | Other threads
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Lenny Dykstra
Lenny Dykstra Gets Played Off
I'm generally unmoved by popular internet memes but, dammit, I just can't help myself when it comes to Keyboard Cat. Luckily, Gawker video samurai Mike Byhoff shares my love of The Cat and put this together for us. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by quick: Dykstra can always save money by rooming with J.R. Richard. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Deleted Scenes
The One Where Jay Mariotti Shows Off His Formidable Lady-Killing Technique
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.
More »
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By DAULERIOComment by ScientificMapp: You know who else is displeased with people up in his grill? Donte Stallworth. 6 Responses | Other threads
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Sad? Whimsy?
Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters. More »
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By Ben CohenComment by BarbarobicsInstructor: He should have stolen something Brady would have never noticed, something that he doesn't even realize he has. You know,... 2 Responses | Other threads
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Swimming
Sandwich Salesman Breaks World Record, Consummates Stalkerish Relationship
Michael Phelps claims one of the few records he doesn't already own, breaking Ian Crocker's mark in the 100-meter butterfly. "Phelps taped Crocker's picture on his bedroom wall for motivation six years ago, after Crocker set the record." [WaPo]
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Comment by Chris Hanson's Axe: Phelps's obsession with Crocker is even more disturbing than the one Timmy's dad has. more » | Other threads
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Deaths
Wait, Maybe Running With Bulls Isn't Such A Great Idea?
A 27-year-old Spaniard (not pictured) was gored to death, when a 1,130-pound bull (that's him there) broke loose from the Pamplona pack and went understandably crazy. It's the first goring death at the famous bull run in 14 years. More »
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Comment by Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Wait, Maybe Changing The Commenting System Isn't Such A Great Idea? One and a half days before I can finally... 12 Responses | Other threads
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Soccer
Coach's Foot Attacked by Deranged Panamanian Groin
Things got ugly during yesterday's match between Panama and Mexico. I'm not one for pointing fingers, but I'm guessing that the Mexican coach making for this guy's groin (while the ball was in play) didn't exactly defuse the situation. More »
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By yonibrennerComment by Nationalcoholic: Futbol in the groin!!! Futbol in the groin!!! 3 Responses | Other threads
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Balls Deep
This Week In Terrible Music: The Cowboys’ Nu Metal Band, Plus Chickenfoot
You may have heard that Cowboys' o-lineman Marc Colombo, Leonard Davis, and Cory Procter started their own metal band called Free Reign. Is their music as awful as you think it is? SURE IS! More »
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By Drew MagaryComment by Weed Against Speed: Congratulations, the Ataris. Your horrible cover of "The Boys Of Summer" is no longer the single worst cover song I've... 2 Responses | Other threads
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Sad?Whimsy?
Mother Nature Does not Appreciate Your Ironic Sports
A sad day in the annals of hipster athletics, as a 23 year old Brooklynite was unceremoniously pancaked by a falling tree limb during a game of dodgeball. Time to start thinking of the perfect post-modern tattoo to commemorate. More »
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By yonibrennerComment by Weed Against Speed: It gets worse for this hipster. Later, he was grifted by this broad. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Yaweh
Best of the Brissed: The First and Last Deadspin Maccabiah Games Preview
Named after the Maccabee family, who vanquished the Greeks despite 6-1 odds and stingy handicapping; the Maccabiah Games bring together 7,000 of the world's best Jewish athletes to satisfy their insatiable lust for gold. Whoa. That came out wrong. More »
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By yonibrennerComment by Dan Daoust: My brother actually couldn't make the Canadian hockey squad. On the other hand, I know a guy who once... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Mlb
David Cone Will Choose Our Supreme Court
Sonia Sotomayor will go before the U.S. Senate next week to face the gauntlet that is a Supreme Court confirmation hearing. Thankfully, she will have one very powerful ally on her side—noted judicial scholar David B. Cone. More »
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Comment by Gourmet Spud: ...as she attempts to join the most important legal body in our nation. Someone still hasn't seen the Judge Judy sex... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Announcements
From Your Very Special Guest Editor
Last time I wrote on this page, it was with unbridled cautious optimism for Trent Edwards and the 2008 Buffalo Bills. Was I wrong? Yes and no. Well, actually, just yes.
More »
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By yonibrennerComment by MarkKelsosMigraine: The 2009 Buffalo Bills are a matchup nightmare!! /totally delusional 5 Responses | Other threads
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Wake up deadspin!
Rich Eisen Thanks You For Your Concern About His Horninesss
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Starburied: REAL_JASON_WHITLOCK: I am so horny. about 3 hours ago from salad bar 4 Responses | Other threads
- Thursday - July 9, 2009
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Duan!
Somebody At ESPN Is Feeling Frisky And A Very Special Guest Editor Announcement
I haven't seen the Sportsnation show on ESPN yet, since I spend most of my day at the Gawker office, where television (along with sunlight, smiling, and sustained eye contact) are strictly forbidden, but this little shout-out is flattering. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Kick His Ass Seabass: So can we still talk about DUAN! topics like how fucking awesome Fight Night Round 4 is? 7 Responses | Other threads
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moneyball
Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A Moneyball Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this. More »
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By Tommy CraggsComment by StuScott Booyahs: Sorkin is believed to have a close relationship with Sony. Like, Sahel Kazemi close? 1 Responses | Other threads
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Lenny Dykstra
Lenny Dykstra Would Still Like You To Trust Him With Your Money
Remarkably, Lenny Kyle Dykstra won't quit just because he filed for bankruptcy. No, teammates, it's just a bump in the road. He's still got the golden touch, so jump in while the water's freezing, etc. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by ScientificMapp: "P.S. Blue Horseshoe loves the Fishnet Condom Company" 3 Responses | Other threads
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College Football
How Can You Miss Chuck Long If He Won't Go Away?
Who has the best job in football? Chuck Long, who is getting paid $715,000 a year to not coach San Diego State, or the consultant getting $125 an hour to figure out how to get rid of him? More »
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Comment by David Hume: How is someone named Chuck Long not the Raiders Offensive Coordinator? 3 Responses | Other threads
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Erin Andrews
Here's Erin Andrews Getting Angry At Someone For Pulling On Her Cords (ALSO NOT A EUPHEMISM)
This is quite a sustained grouchy face. This is also the last footage of America's Sideline Princess with her chin still intact. [YouTube]
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By DAULERIOComment by ClueHeywood: If you pull Erin Andrews's cord, she'll say "math class is tough!" 5 Responses | Other threads
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Erin Andrews
ERIN ANDREWS HIT BY FOUL BALL GOES TO HOSPITAL WITH CHIN BRUISE (NOT A EUPHEMISM) BUT SHE'S OKAY (UPDATE!)
Gentlemen, brace yourselves: From TMZ: "Andrews — who serves as a sideline reporter for ESPN — was struck in the chin by a foul ball hit by New York Mets player Alex Cora during the 4th inning." More »
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By DAULERIOComment by sir_pantsalot: Erins chin is okay but what about Tebows left testical? 3 Responses | Other threads
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Steve McNair
Tennessean Brings Out The Dead, Asks About Exciting New Line Of Restaurants
Here's the front page of the Tennessean's weekly Davidson A.M. edition, which is one of those zoned supplements that go yellow on your lawn and contain nothing but Zales ads and the occasional fluffy interview with a dead person.
More »
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By Tommy CraggsComment by Barry Lutz: The story quotes McNair as saying, "you should try my Iranian side dish." 5 Responses | Other threads
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Balls Deep
Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!
More »
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By Drew MagaryComment by Galactica: My son was born with this. While it was disturbing at first, he had surgery a year after his birth,... 7 Responses | Other threads
New York, 7:21 AM
Sat Jul 11
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