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more about #clevelandcavaliers more comments → Theodore Donald Kerabatsos: Is that sideline bloopers link being sponsored by McAfee? I think my computer is going to need the H1N1 vaccine to recover from that. #watercoolerfodder more » AzureTexan: Keep in mind that some of the less comely lasses have never surrendered their amateur status, so you can usually get them in exchange for a Double Who... more » Bucket O' Hatorade: You'll be missed Holliday.Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out! #sarcasm #watercoolerfodder more » ripsh: You need to take that picture down. Those are nice girls and do not need to be associated with a headline about whores, despite your disclaimer. more » Hit Bull Win Steak: "Slovenia is apparently a wholly separate country from Slovakia." Yet they all pale in comparison to the might of Latveria!!! #watercoolerfodder more » I Party With Smoot: Your clear number one involves double penetration After double penetration, it'll probably involve number two. #watercoolerfodder more » UkraineNotWeak: "Are youse girls the hookahs?" #watercoolerfodder more » P. Escobar, Jets Fan: Well, he is pretty good at slowing down traffic. #shaquilleoneal more » Brazil Thrill: Great idea! He's already doing a hell of a job handcuffing the Cavs' offense. #shaquilleoneal more » Bos'un's Mate: That throw was missing the follow through. #watercoolerfodder more » -
#watercoolerfodder
Whores Are Coming To Dallas
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More » -
#nba
Soon We'll Just Make Him Attorney General
A new team, a new jurisdiction; Shaq has applied to become a deputy sheriff in Cleveland. This shows me he's entirely unfamiliar with the city, which was long ago abandoned to lawlessness. [AP] -
#watercoolerfodder
The Top Story This Morning: Holy Crap, The Umps Got One Right
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More » -
#nba
Shaq's Brain Having Some Growing Pains
With, oh, two days before the season starts, O'Neal is still having a little trouble memorizing the playbook. Seen on Mike Brown's flash cards: "Stand in the paint. Draw two defenders. Stay out of LeBron's way." [Plain Dealer] -
#nfl
Braylon Edwards Accused Of Punching FOL (Friend Of LeBron) UPDATED
Well, the Browns' season just got a whole lot better. Their "star" wide receiver was accused of punching a man last night and the victim says it's all because Braylon Edwards isn't as popular as LeBron James. More » -
#nba
Cavs Hero Banned From Scrimmage, Exiled From Bartertown
LeBron can make a movie and Shaq can spend the summer boxing kangaroos, but Delonte West has to sit out today's Cavs scrimmage, just because his reality show, Delonte West Beyond Thunderdome, didn't have any cameras or anything. -
#nba
Delonte West Is "The Road Warrior"
Cavs guard Delonte West was arrested last night, carrying two handguns and a shotgun. On his motorcycle. A) Where was he carrying the shotgun? (Answer below!) B) Was there an apocalypse that no one told me about? [WUSA9/Plain-Dealer] More » -
#nba
LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter] -
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#nba
Well, At Least He'll Be Able To Tell People He Was Coach Of The Year...
Mike Brown, the Cleveland Cavaliers dapper head coach, may have spent his last season with Lebron James. Again, blame this on Joe Posnanski. [ProBasketballNews] -
#nba
We Were All Witnesses
"Well, that guy is not in the league anymore. The other 2-3 is now on the good side now. That other 2-3 is gone, so we don't have to worry about that no more." [LeBron James, after his last-second shot won Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals] More » -
#wakeupdeadspin
"Wouldn't It Be Amazing If LeBron Saved Our Season?"
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More » -
#nbaplayoffs
That Wasn't Supposed To Happen Was It?
Let me double check this ... yes, the Orlando Magic did beat Cleveland last night in Game One of the conference finals. That was certainly unexpected. More » -
#nba
MVP Award May Finally Earn LeBron James Some Publicity
The Plain-Dealer says LeBron James will be named the MVP today. He also wins a new Kia, which is awesome because I hear his Datsun pickup is rusted out. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer] -
#nba
The Cavaliers Seem Pretty Happy With Themselves Right Now
If the NBA were a horrible Michael Bay movie, this is the part where the bad guy would mutter "I fear we've awakened a sleeping giant." Then a Boston Celtics flag would flutter in slow-motion.* More » -
#nba
Celtics To Cavs: "Shut Up ... LOL!"
Boston beats Cleveland to move into a virtual first-place tie and give the internet yet another excuse to rethink that "let's have an open dialogue" thing. [Yahoo] -
#nba
LeBron James Saved From Dwyane Wade's Band-Aid Menace
Dwyane Wade was having a lot of fun putting those decorative Band-Aids on his face and NBA fans were starting to take notice. So naturally the league had to put a stop to that. More » -
#nba
LeBron James Stunned To Learn He's Just Like Other People
The most bizarre thing happened in the Pacers-Cavs game last night—all-world superduper star LeBron James was not treated like the special little snowflake that he is, but like a real NBA player. More » -
#nba
TNT Sells Out H-O-R-S-E?
I'm not sure if this is real or just idle (but completely believable) speculation, but USA Today is reporting that the game of All-Star H-O-R-S-E will actually be G-E-I-C-O, to the delight of the sponsor. More » -
#nba
Would Anyone Else Like To Humiliate The Knicks This Week?
Kobe Bryant scored 61 on Monday. LeBron James put up 52 and a triple-double on Wednesday. What's next? Kevin Garnett scores 45 from inside a water torture cell? More » -
#nbacloser
Nine-Fingered Kobe Enough To Stop LeBron James
How confident is Kobe Bryant that he deserves the MVP Award? He intentionally dislocated his right ring finger before their game last night and still dispatched the Cavaliers with relative ease. More » -
#nba
Kobe vs. LeBron: ¿Quien Es Mas Macho?
The 31-7 Cavaliers will play the 31-8 Lakers tonight in the greatest regular season game in history until they play again next month. More » -
#nba
LeBron James: Sicker Than Sick
• We get it. You're good: What is the reality here?That the Cavs are the best team in the NBA right now or that the Celtics free-fall is more than just a temporary speed bump. More » -
#nba
The Boston Celtics Dynasty Has Collapsed
Everybody panic! The once dominant Celtic steam engine has gone completely off the rails and it's unclear if they'll be able to save their season after losing to... oh my... the New York Knicks? More » -
#duan
Nike And LeBron To Cover All Of Cleveland In A Fine White Powder
I have seen some questionable game day promotions in my time, but the one that Cleveland has cooked up for their big Christmas game against Washington may just take the cake. More » -
#nba
LeBron: Don't Start Printing Those #23 Knicks Jerseys Just Yet
Not sure if you've heard, but the summer of 2010 is a rather important one in the NBA. More » -
#nbacloser
The Hawks Do Everyone a Favor, Derail King James
Atlanta snaps Cleveland's winning streak, a rare Jerome James sighting, and a debut win for Philly's interim coach. More » -
#nbaseasonpreview
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Cleveland Cavaliers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is composed primarily of water and carbon: The Cleveland Cavaliers. More » -
#nba
LeBron Would Head To Europe for $50 Million a Year
$50 million just so happens to be about $30 million more than any NBA team can pay under the salary cap. That sound you just heard is the NBA brass trying to figure out if they need some sort of superstar carve out in the salary cap structure. Either that or getting a capless division set up in Europe. But surely, LeBron's just bluffing, right? More » -
#lebronjamesknicks
Let's Start Guessing Where LeBron Will Play In Two Years
The summer of 2010. That's when LeBron James will shun Northeast Ohio, get a plane ticket, head to New York City, play basketball, and win a championship with either the Knicks, the Nets, or an amalgamation of the relocated Memphis Grizzlies and Los Angeles Clippers, the Long Island Clizzers. More » -
#nbacloser
The Truth Really Does Hurt. Just Ask LeBron and The Cavaliers
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who watched some legendary basketball yesterday. When he's not being really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and LeBron James, he can be found being...really freaking impressed by Paul Pierce and Lebron James at Basketbawful. Enjoy!
More »
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#mothermayi
LeBron's Mother Is Not Someone With Whom You Should Trifle
Last night's Celtics-Cavaliers Game 4 tilt will be remembered for two things: First, LeBron James' ridiculous, "you know, I could do this all the time if I really wanted" driving dunk, and, mostly, James' mother yapping at the Celtics who were wrapping her poor boy, and James responding with a subtle, "Sit your ass DOWN." When we remember the last time Momma James made news, it becomes clear that's not the first time LeBron's had to put his mom in her place.
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#nbacloser
Celtics Shown Up By LeBron, Punked By LeBron's Mom
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's starting to think Tuesday is the new Monday. When he's not wishing he was still chillin' in bed, he can be found rubbing his chin in a thoughtful way at Basketbawful. Enjoy! More » -
#thenumber23
Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies for as long as five hours. More » -
#kingjames
LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when you say to yourself, "This is why I should've never been an English major." More » -
#nbacloser
Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be found wiping the sweat out of his armpits at Basketbawful. Enjoy! More » -
#nbaplayoffs
NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game. More » -
#freedarkopresents
Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief. More » -
#nbaplayoffs
Flee To The Cleve Tonight, Everybody
The playoffs tip back off tonight, and after a weekend that brought us an amazing Suns-Spurs game and that fun 76ers upset — which we have a feeling will be like a lower-grade version of that Sixers-Lakers Finals: One inspiring win followed by a sweep — we are treated to two doozies tonight. More » -
#nbaplayoffs
LeBron Overrated, Rated Over Gilbert Arenas
So the verbal barbs were barbered between Gilbert Arenas and LeBron James to christen the Wizards-Cavaliers series, although the counterbarbs by Cleveland were done not in words, but in second-half points. So Cleveland begins with the series lead after with a 93-86 victory in Game 1 of the NBA playoffs first round. And as is the customary "braggin' rights" ritual, Gilbert Arenas awarded a celebratory big sandwich to the Cavaliers bench. More »
