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more about #minorenterprise more comments → StuScott Booyahs: "I think Tim Tebow is a fan of anything related to getting his name out there," Wynot said. "I don't think Tim Tebow would send destruction on us." T... more » TheStarterWife: You don't tug on Superman's cape You don't spit into the wind You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger And you don't mess around with Tim Is D... more » Senators Lost Cojones: Your move, Chestnut. more » Hatey McLife: Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger I had the opposite reaction to this: more » Bobby Big Wheel: Who did Landis narrowly edge to win the contest? You guessed it, Frank Stallone. more » Brazil Thrill: "Oh, my God, it looks horrible. I'm going to take a picture of it," said Sean Salisbury. more » BlazingWithPhelps: "...to become the first Fifth Third Burger challenge winner..." And wait a second--he did it in the fourth! more » ThePiratesFan: How is Kruk not covering/involved in this story? more » NoPracticoBurress: This idea was obviously an homage to the West Alabama Whitehoods Three Fifths burger made popular in the 1960s. more » Karlifornia: "It's scary, almost," said 12-year-old Aaron Wisner, of Grand Rapids. Women were mortified. "Oh, my God, it looks horrible. I'm going to take a pictur... more » -
#minorleaguebaseball
Greatest Minor League Promotion Ever Ruined By Wrath Of Tebow
The Fort Myers Miracle planned to pay homage to that miracle-maker Tim Tebow tonight, but what happened instead? Try an approaching tornado, an aborted circumcision, and a cease-and-desist letter from UF. God does not take kindly to your mockery. More » -
#baseball
Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite: More » -
#minorleaguebaseball
If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant Plunger
Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans. More » -
#minorleaguebaseball
Minor League Team Invites You To Watch A Game FROM A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER
If your lifelong dream has been to watch a minor league baseball game from a 1978 GMC van parked just beyond the outfield near a major river, then you're in luck, my fat motivational-speaking friend. More » -
#minorleaguebaseball
Use All Of These You Want, You're Not Going To Help Sabathia
As is befitting a team with a mascot named Thunder, the Lake Elsinore Storm (Class A, California League) is giving out free samples of Subtle Butt anti-fart shields at their weekly all-you-can-eat Tuesday home games. More » -
#minorleaguebaseball
Sorry, BlueClaws' 'Kids Eat Free' Promotion Does Not Include Beer
What minor league baseball team dares to feed your kids for free at every 2009 home game? The Lakewood BlueClaws. Take that, stupid economy. More » -
#minorleaguebaseball
Mets Welcome Redundant, Gramatically Questionable Triple-A Team
The New York Mets' Triple-A affiliate is now located in Buffalo, where it had been previously associated with the Cleveland Indians. But, I thought the plural of Bison was Bison? [New York Daily News] -
#minorleaguebaseball
If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor
A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones." More » -
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#minorenterprise
Experience The Fun Of Minnesota's U.S. Senate Election Recount With The St. Paul Saints
Here's comedian and senatorial candidate Al Franken throwing out the first pitch at a St. Paul Saints game earlier this season. It was a wise move on Mr. Franken's part, considering that the Saints' attendance that day was 12,450, and he's currently trailing in his U.S. Senate recount with Norm Coleman by only 136 votes. This appearance may have won him the election. At any rate, the Saints are proudly mocking the situation with their first promotional giveaway of the season: The Franken-Coleman Recount Doll (as seen below).
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#minorenterprise
Ill-Tempered Apple Calls Out Nightmare Ant In Fort Wayne Mascot Showdown
No, this isn't a peyote flashback; the above image is of a real minor league baseball mascot. This as-yet-unnamed, furious-looking apple represents the Fort Wayne TinCaps, the newest member of the Class-A Midwest League. You may know Fort Wayne as home of the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, an Indiana Pacers D-League basketball affiliate. Their mascot, Nightmare Ant, may not take kindly to another anger-addicted sports mascot invading his turf. More » -
#jamestownjammers
Come Help The Jamestown Jammers Salute Slightly Flawed Things
If you can't make it out to see the New York Giants take on the New England Patriots in tonight's preseason game, why not do the next best thing?* The Jamestown Jammers minor league baseball team (Class A New York-Penn League) is holding its gala "Saltute to Imperfection Night" at Diethrick Park, where they will pay tribute to a certain recent 18-1 season. Highlight of the evening: when Jammers mascot Bubba Grape reenacts Eli Manning's key 2007 Super Bowl completion to David Tyree. Ha, fun. More » -
#minorenterprise
Jacko Turns 50, Hockey Night, And The Political Incorrectness Of Midget Wrestling
And so we come to the close of another Minor League Baseball season. And what a season it's been: We watched babies enjoying beer, were introduced to the magical wonders of Wizard Cat, and thrilled to the antics of a giant, dancing taco. The Macon Music announced with great fanfare, and then cancelled, their gala Eliot Spitzer Night. We even chose a President.
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#politics
It's Over: Minor League Baseball Gives One Candidate The Nod
We have a new President. I suppose they'll go on with these convention thingees anyway, because the deposit on the arenas are non-refundable. But we know who's going to win. Minor league teams in six cities handed out bobbleheads of the two Presidential candidates during special promotions last week, with each fan choosing either a Barack Obama or John McCain model, each of which represented a Presidential vote. (In 2004, the same promotion predicted a narrow GW Bush victory). And when the dust had cleared on Monday, one candidate emerged with a clean sweep of all venues. So please nod your head comically and whistle Hail to the Chief for ...
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#minorenterprise
Bobblection Week 2008: They Bobble, You Decide
Although the bobblehead craze has pretty much swept the globe, countries generally do not use them to select their leaders; well, except for Spain. But perhaps they should. In 2004, a series of Minor League Baseball bobblehead promotions correctly predicted the U.S. Presidential Election, when other so-called polling experts didn't have a clue. And now the promotion is back, as six Class A and Independent League teams stage Bobblection 2008. Barack Obama or John McCain? This week, you choose.
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#baseball
William Hung Tells All
And she bangs, she bangs/Oh baby When she moves, she moves/I go crazy 'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in history/She bangs, she bangs ...
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#baseball
Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth! More » -
#madisonmallards
Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 fans who would eat the insect; and all tickets were given away. Yum. More » -
#willferrell
Please Come To Altoona, Will Ferrell!
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
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#brooklyncyclones
Billy Joel And Pork Rind Sculpting: Your Week Is Hereby Planned
Minor Enterprise has a way of pleasin', I don't know why it is, but there doesn't have to be a reason. Anyway ...
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#daverozema
Dave Rozema's Infamous Karate Kick, Immortalized In Bobble Form At Last
It may be a short week for Deadspin, but it's a big week for minor league baseball promotions ... so drop your pants and fire a rocket for Minor Enterprise. More » -
#minorenterprise
The Western Michigan Whitecaps Will Restore Balance To The Universe
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. More » -
#minorenterprise
Long Beach Armada Pulling Out All The Stops For The Plumber
It's time once again for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award-winning series Minor Enterprise, where we extol the virtues of minor league baseball, its promotions, and the women who love them. More » -
#racingsushi
What's More Fun Than Sprinting California Rolls?
It's a lazy, post-Finals Thursday morning, with the sports world mostly taking a deep breath to relax over the next month and a half. We're going to spend most of our day waiting for our parents' plane to arrive and trying to direct them through the vagaries of the New York City subway system. (Honestly: Parents should always take cabs.) So, as we wake up and shake off the cobwebs, we can think of no better way to start our day than ballpark racing sushi. More » -
#minorenterprise
Dance The Night Away With The Ft. Myers Miracle
Time to put down your drink, turn up the music (it''s Shining Star by Earth Wind and Fire, I believe) and step to the rhythm of Minor Enterprise. Come on, who's dancing? More » -
#minorenterprise
Still Krazy After All These Years
So these three kids in Oakland Athletics Little League uniforms come up to me and ask who the manic little bald man with the drum is. They had seen me talking with him, but hadn't worked up the nerve to approach him themselves. "That's Krazy George, the most famous cheerleader of all time," I say. They look at me blankly. "He's worked for the Houston Oilers and the Kansas City Chiefs." Nothing. "He invented The Wave." That did it: Their eyes light up. The Wave! They run off to get his autograph. More » -
#itsyourfuneral
Spend The Hereafter In Style Thanks To The Grand Prairie Airhogs
Being a San Francisco Giants fan, I often think of death; but so far I haven't made any firm arrangements. That could all change tomorrow when I head off to the Grand Prairie Airhogs game, where they are giving away a free funeral to one fortunate fan in their All Hogs Go To Heaven Funeral Giveaway. But there's much, much more. More » -
#minorenterprise
The Altoona Curve Salutes All Quitters (And You Know Who You Are)
It's Minor Enterprise, where we chronicle the glory and spectacle of minor league baseball promotions, pausing only to hail the beer vendor every half inning or so.
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#minorenterprise
Johnny Lawrence Can Still Sweep The Leg
It's time for Minor Enterprise, which celebrates Minor League baseball and all else that is good and great about America. And now, please rise as William Hung sings his rendition of our National Anthem ...
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#minorenterprise
Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions
Welcome To Minor Enterprise, in which we celebrate the world of minor league baseball promotions, and occasionally help local police solve crimes. Today, a profile on the Independent American Association's St. Paul Saints, who are blazing new trails in creative baseball promotion.
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#minorenterprise
Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances which brought them together, so all I can assume is that it was a part of God's great plan. Gamecock and Blowie were meant to be together; it's not unnatural or disgusting at all. Oh come on, look at the photo, it won't bite. Stop being such a baby! Just try it this one time. More » -
#getthetinyhandcuffslou
Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the Lookout (foreground). Suddenly Britney Spears doesn't look like such a bad parent, eh? If you like your babies with starter Mohawks and raucously intoxicated, then enjoy more in the video after the jump. More » -
#marchingtopeoria
Cubs Preparing For When Ryne Sandberg Becomes Their Manager
When the day finally comes that Lou Piniella explodes like Port Chicago — oh, and he will — who will step in for the Cubs? How about Ryne Sandberg? The Hall of Famer, now manager of the Class A Peoria Chiefs, will try out the manager's chair when he returns to Wrigley Field on July 29; his team taking on the Kane County Cougars in a Midwest League game. It's believed to be the first minor league game ever to be played at Wrigley. More » -
#minorenterprise
On May 15, The Fresno Grizzlies Will Sweep The Leg
Time once again for Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions, mascots and fans. Also, The View's Joy Behar dishes celebrity gossip.
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#minorenterprise
Finally, A Pro Baseball Team With Glow-In-The-Dark Caps
How many times have you asked yourself, 'Why can't I see my favorite baseball cap logo when the lights are out?' (If you're like me, plenty). Well, if your favorite team is the Casper Ghosts of the Pioneer Rookie League, then you don't have that problem. This season the Ghosts (formerly the Casper Rockies) became the only pro baseball team with glow-in-the-dark caps, which could come in very handy during a power outage. Follow the Ghosts to safety! This fine item is now available in the team store, along with other Ghost merchandise based on Casper the Friendly Ghost, for whom the team is named. (This is all true). Terrifying glow-in-the-dark cap action following the jump!
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#catpeople
Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is underway, but one thing we know for certain: Cat enthusiasts are touchy, and have very sharp claws. To get you up to speed on all of this: More » -
#icanhazdignity
T-Bones' Michael Vick Promotion Under Fire
Well, it seems that not everyone's thrilled with the Kansas City T-Bones' big Michael Vick baseball promotion. The NAACP is one organization that's a little peeved. And so is Kristy Winfrey, who authors the Kansas City-based Animal Advocate blog. There is a warmth in my heart as big as a certain deceased race horse when I read this blog, because Kristy seems just asinsanepassionate as the Barbaro fan club. And I miss that. More » -
#minorenterprise
T-Bones Welcome Michael Vick To The Neighborhood
It's the glorious return of Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions. Also, we will plagiarize some Rachael Ray recipes.
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#minorenterprise
The West Virginia Power's Mascot Has A Rather Large Package
Here's Charile, one of the mascots of the West Virginia Power baseball team, a Class-AA affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers. The Power celebrated the beginning of their season recently with a contest to see who could turn in the best drawing of one of their colorful mascots. The winner was Ariel Benson, a middle schooler who knows that: A. All baseball mascots are on steroids, apparently, and B. Mascots who take steroids do not suffer from shrunken genitalia. Charlie is packing a lot down there!
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#jobopportunities
Bonds, Clemens Providing Endless Comedy Fodder For Minor League Teams
As long as Minor League Baseball has general managers willing to put out comedy press releases, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens will always have job offers. Last week we told you about the Huntsville Stars' offer to make Clemens their backup mascot. Then on Wednesday, Bonds — who wants to play in the majors but has had zero bites — got a similar offer from the Lake Elsinore (Calif.) Storm. More » -
#funfortheentirefamily
Get Ready For The Pomp And Pageantry Of Eliot Spitzer Night
Our first 2008 chapter of Minor Enterprise is still a few weeks away, but there's no reason we can't get a jump on the Minor League Baseball promotional season with this bit of news: The Macon Music of the South Coast League will hold Eliot Spitzer Night on June 13th. I already have my tickets. More »
