Deadspin
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baseball
Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger
The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite: More »
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Comment by Brazil Thrill: "Oh, my God, it looks horrible. I'm going to take a picture of it," said Sean Salisbury. 2 Responses | Other threads
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minor league baseball
If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant Plunger
Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans. More »
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Comment by ClueHeywood: This promotion is so dumb, the plunger should shoot Brawndo. 3 Responses | Other threads
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minor league baseball
Minor League Team Invites You To Watch A Game FROM A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER
If your lifelong dream has been to watch a minor league baseball game from a 1978 GMC van parked just beyond the outfield near a major river, then you're in luck, my fat motivational-speaking friend. More »
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Comment by Derek Tang: Off-topic: Looks like it's going to be official - [www.wreg.com] 4 Responses | Other threads
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minor league baseball
Use All Of These You Want, You're Not Going To Help Sabathia
As is befitting a team with a mascot named Thunder, the Lake Elsinore Storm (Class A, California League) is giving out free samples of Subtle Butt anti-fart shields at their weekly all-you-can-eat Tuesday home games. More »
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Comment by Father of 2 Future First Rounders: That tennis picture up top is really starting to annoy me. 4 Responses | Other threads
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minor league baseball
Sorry, BlueClaws' 'Kids Eat Free' Promotion Does Not Include Beer
What minor league baseball team dares to feed your kids for free at every 2009 home game? The Lakewood BlueClaws. Take that, stupid economy. More »
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Comment by Mean_Old_Frisco: Will pet chimpanzees be offered free human faces? 4 Responses | Other threads
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minor league baseball
Mets Welcome Redundant, Gramatically Questionable Triple-A Team
The New York Mets' Triple-A affiliate is now located in Buffalo, where it had been previously associated with the Cleveland Indians. But, I thought the plural of Bison was Bison? [New York Daily News]
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Comment by Whoa Black Luol Deng-A-Leng: Is there a law in Buffalo requiring all sports teams to use some form of an actual buffalo or what?... 11 Responses | Other threads
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minor league baseball
If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor
A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones." More »
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Comment by Candace Parker Secret Lover: Visanthe Shiancoe approves. 8 Responses | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Experience The Fun Of Minnesota's U.S. Senate Election Recount With The St. Paul Saints
Here's comedian and senatorial candidate Al Franken throwing out the first pitch at a St. Paul Saints game earlier this season. It was a wise move on Mr. Franken's part, considering that the Saints' attendance that day was 12,450, and he's currently trailing in his U.S. Senate recount with Norm Coleman by only 136 votes. This appearance may have won him the election. At any rate, the Saints are proudly mocking the situation with their first promotional giveaway of the season: The Franken-Coleman Recount Doll (as seen below).
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Comment by FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: In this morning's Star-Tribune: The caption reads "how would you rule"? Me? I'd rule that the voter in question... 14 Responses | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Ill-Tempered Apple Calls Out Nightmare Ant In Fort Wayne Mascot Showdown
No, this isn't a peyote flashback; the above image is of a real minor league baseball mascot. This as-yet-unnamed, furious-looking apple represents the Fort Wayne TinCaps, the newest member of the Class-A Midwest League. You may know Fort Wayne as home of the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, an Indiana Pacers D-League basketball affiliate. Their mascot, Nightmare Ant, may not take kindly to another anger-addicted sports mascot invading his turf. More »
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Comment by Matt Sussman: Nice to see the Fort Wayne PR guys not fritter away this opportunity. 5 Responses | Other threads
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jamestown jammers
Come Help The Jamestown Jammers Salute Slightly Flawed Things
If you can't make it out to see the New York Giants take on the New England Patriots in tonight's preseason game, why not do the next best thing?* The Jamestown Jammers minor league baseball team (Class A New York-Penn League) is holding its gala "Saltute to Imperfection Night" at Diethrick Park, where they will pay tribute to a certain recent 18-1 season. Highlight of the evening: when Jammers mascot Bubba Grape reenacts Eli Manning's key 2007 Super Bowl completion to David Tyree. Ha, fun. More »
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Comment by supermike5alive: Jamestown, NY - hitchin' up to the Giants bandwagon despite the fact that there are at least 5 pro football... 7 Responses | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Jacko Turns 50, Hockey Night, And The Political Incorrectness Of Midget Wrestling
And so we come to the close of another Minor League Baseball season. And what a season it's been: We watched babies enjoying beer, were introduced to the magical wonders of Wizard Cat, and thrilled to the antics of a giant, dancing taco. The Macon Music announced with great fanfare, and then cancelled, their gala Eliot Spitzer Night. We even chose a President.
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Comment by Harry Caray is my Bro: You haven't lived until you've gotten an Altoona Steamer. more » | Other threads
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politics
It's Over: Minor League Baseball Gives One Candidate The Nod
We have a new President. I suppose they'll go on with these convention thingees anyway, because the deposit on the arenas are non-refundable. But we know who's going to win. Minor league teams in six cities handed out bobbleheads of the two Presidential candidates during special promotions last week, with each fan choosing either a Barack Obama or John McCain model, each of which represented a Presidential vote. (In 2004, the same promotion predicted a narrow GW Bush victory). And when the dust had cleared on Monday, one candidate emerged with a clean sweep of all venues. So please nod your head comically and whistle Hail to the Chief for ...
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Comment by Capt Hilts aka Blue law balls: Rookie mistake there San Antonio Missions. It only takes once to learn you NEVER let a chili pepper get... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Bobblection Week 2008: They Bobble, You Decide
Although the bobblehead craze has pretty much swept the globe, countries generally do not use them to select their leaders; well, except for Spain. But perhaps they should. In 2004, a series of Minor League Baseball bobblehead promotions correctly predicted the U.S. Presidential Election, when other so-called polling experts didn't have a clue. And now the promotion is back, as six Class A and Independent League teams stage Bobblection 2008. Barack Obama or John McCain? This week, you choose.
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baseball
William Hung Tells All
And she bangs, she bangs/Oh baby When she moves, she moves/I go crazy 'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in history/She bangs, she bangs ...
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Comment by Another Failed Tedford QB: Haha, every math, economics and statistics class I took at Cal was filled with hundreds of William Hung's. \racist\yes, Berkeley has... more » | Other threads
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baseball
Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty pointy teeth! More »
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Comment by Storming the Floor: Man... that ain't broccoli, that's Bootsy Collins. more » | Other threads
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madison mallards
Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 fans who would eat the insect; and all tickets were given away. Yum. More »
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Comment by spotter: @UkraineNotWeak: actually, I was going to say it's a racist promotion, as bugs aren't kosher. :) more » | Other threads
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will ferrell
Please Come To Altoona, Will Ferrell!
Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
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Comment by WadeCounty: I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!! /had to get it out of the way//big simmons fan more » | Other threads
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brooklyn cyclones
Billy Joel And Pork Rind Sculpting: Your Week Is Hereby Planned
Minor Enterprise has a way of pleasin', I don't know why it is, but there doesn't have to be a reason. Anyway ...
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Comment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: It's like Billy Joel is making it with... Billy Joel. Those dueling baseballs are f'ing with me. more » | Other threads
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dave rozema
Dave Rozema's Infamous Karate Kick, Immortalized In Bobble Form At Last
It may be a short week for Deadspin, but it's a big week for minor league baseball promotions ... so drop your pants and fire a rocket for Minor Enterprise. More »
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Comment by budbrad: That 'flask' was long rumored actually to be a large vial or white powder. It WAS the 80s after all. more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
The Western Michigan Whitecaps Will Restore Balance To The Universe
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. More »
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Comment by illiniowl: ...where once again science fiction geek and baseball stat nerd call truce and come together for a night of scum... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Long Beach Armada Pulling Out All The Stops For The Plumber
It's time once again for the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award-winning series Minor Enterprise, where we extol the virtues of minor league baseball, its promotions, and the women who love them. More » -
racing sushi
What's More Fun Than Sprinting California Rolls?
It's a lazy, post-Finals Thursday morning, with the sports world mostly taking a deep breath to relax over the next month and a half. We're going to spend most of our day waiting for our parents' plane to arrive and trying to direct them through the vagaries of the New York City subway system. (Honestly: Parents should always take cabs.) So, as we wake up and shake off the cobwebs, we can think of no better way to start our day than ballpark racing sushi. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: @Andrew: That's KwikTrip, wit' a k, like Kathy Kegel. /hey-o//suck it, drezdn more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Dance The Night Away With The Ft. Myers Miracle
Time to put down your drink, turn up the music (it''s Shining Star by Earth Wind and Fire, I believe) and step to the rhythm of Minor Enterprise. Come on, who's dancing? More »
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Comment by ChilledoutEntertainer: You got a question about the Ft. Myers Miracle?? You ask the eight ball!! more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Still Krazy After All These Years
So these three kids in Oakland Athletics Little League uniforms come up to me and ask who the manic little bald man with the drum is. They had seen me talking with him, but hadn't worked up the nerve to approach him themselves. "That's Krazy George, the most famous cheerleader of all time," I say. They look at me blankly. "He's worked for the Houston Oilers and the Kansas City Chiefs." Nothing. "He invented The Wave." That did it: Their eyes light up. The Wave! They run off to get his autograph. More »
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Comment by USA2Mexico0: Oddly, Crazy George looks exactly like how he looked when I first same him at Tampa Bay Rowdies games (in... more » | Other threads
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it's your funeral
Spend The Hereafter In Style Thanks To The Grand Prairie Airhogs
Being a San Francisco Giants fan, I often think of death; but so far I haven't made any firm arrangements. That could all change tomorrow when I head off to the Grand Prairie Airhogs game, where they are giving away a free funeral to one fortunate fan in their All Hogs Go To Heaven Funeral Giveaway. But there's much, much more. More »
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Comment by Section426: I'm pretty sure I died and saw a bit of hell tonight while enduring a Pens' win in the 3rd... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
The Altoona Curve Salutes All Quitters (And You Know Who You Are)
It's Minor Enterprise, where we chronicle the glory and spectacle of minor league baseball promotions, pausing only to hail the beer vendor every half inning or so.
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Comment by kurt9988: Quitting is the American way. I once worked at a Fortune 500 company that has been in business for 38... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Johnny Lawrence Can Still Sweep The Leg
It's time for Minor Enterprise, which celebrates Minor League baseball and all else that is good and great about America. And now, please rise as William Hung sings his rendition of our National Anthem ...
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Comment by NYSportscene: The Mets promote 'Bad Baserunning Night' at every home game. This great promotion is brought to you by many of... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions
Welcome To Minor Enterprise, in which we celebrate the world of minor league baseball promotions, and occasionally help local police solve crimes. Today, a profile on the Independent American Association's St. Paul Saints, who are blazing new trails in creative baseball promotion.
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Comment by NYSportscene: There's just something morally wrong in getting a massage from a nun. I don't care if the money goes to... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances which brought them together, so all I can assume is that it was a part of God's great plan. Gamecock and Blowie were meant to be together; it's not unnatural or disgusting at all. Oh come on, look at the photo, it won't bite. Stop being such a baby! Just try it this one time. More » -
get the tiny handcuffs, lou
Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the Lookout (foreground). Suddenly Britney Spears doesn't look like such a bad parent, eh? If you like your babies with starter Mohawks and raucously intoxicated, then enjoy more in the video after the jump. More »
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By rickchandComment by lilwillie heart clicks GM: Every parent has had a picture with the kid and a beer in his hand. The key is to teach... more » | Other threads
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marching to peoria
Cubs Preparing For When Ryne Sandberg Becomes Their Manager
When the day finally comes that Lou Piniella explodes like Port Chicago — oh, and he will — who will step in for the Cubs? How about Ryne Sandberg? The Hall of Famer, now manager of the Class A Peoria Chiefs, will try out the manager's chair when he returns to Wrigley Field on July 29; his team taking on the Kane County Cougars in a Midwest League game. It's believed to be the first minor league game ever to be played at Wrigley. More »
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By rickchandComment by Rick Chandler: @J-No: You've got me all wrong. In fact, that's me stuck in the outfield screen. more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
On May 15, The Fresno Grizzlies Will Sweep The Leg
Time once again for Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions, mascots and fans. Also, The View's Joy Behar dishes celebrity gossip.
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By rickchandComment by Rick Chandler: @DontPracticeRenteria: Be my friend ... Godfather? more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
Finally, A Pro Baseball Team With Glow-In-The-Dark Caps
How many times have you asked yourself, 'Why can't I see my favorite baseball cap logo when the lights are out?' (If you're like me, plenty). Well, if your favorite team is the Casper Ghosts of the Pioneer Rookie League, then you don't have that problem. This season the Ghosts (formerly the Casper Rockies) became the only pro baseball team with glow-in-the-dark caps, which could come in very handy during a power outage. Follow the Ghosts to safety! This fine item is now available in the team store, along with other Ghost merchandise based on Casper the Friendly Ghost, for whom the team is named. (This is all true). Terrifying glow-in-the-dark cap action following the jump!
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By rickchandComment by riskybusiness: Yo, this shit is fresh. As an avid collector of minor, independent, & negro league fitted caps (Clinton Lumber Kings... more » | Other threads
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cat people
Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is underway, but one thing we know for certain: Cat enthusiasts are touchy, and have very sharp claws. To get you up to speed on all of this: More »
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By rickchandComment by BelichickSpiesOnYou: @MattinglysSideburns: +1,000,000 more » | Other threads
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i can haz dignity?
T-Bones' Michael Vick Promotion Under Fire
Well, it seems that not everyone's thrilled with the Kansas City T-Bones' big Michael Vick baseball promotion. The NAACP is one organization that's a little peeved. And so is Kristy Winfrey, who authors the Kansas City-based Animal Advocate blog. There is a warmth in my heart as big as a certain deceased race horse when I read this blog, because Kristy seems just asinsanepassionate as the Barbaro fan club. And I miss that. More »
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By rickchandComment by Big Jim Slade: @PeteJayhawk: +1 belated. Good stuff. I personally enjoy her post about the "nuts (at deadspin.com)". Someone who dresses up... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
T-Bones Welcome Michael Vick To The Neighborhood
It's the glorious return of Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions. Also, we will plagiarize some Rachael Ray recipes.
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By rickchandComment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: @HugsFromHarold: Fillmore is great -- if you like your Presidents to be killers. MF never would have been President, if... more » | Other threads
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minor enterprise
The West Virginia Power's Mascot Has A Rather Large Package
Here's Charile, one of the mascots of the West Virginia Power baseball team, a Class-AA affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers. The Power celebrated the beginning of their season recently with a contest to see who could turn in the best drawing of one of their colorful mascots. The winner was Ariel Benson, a middle schooler who knows that: A. All baseball mascots are on steroids, apparently, and B. Mascots who take steroids do not suffer from shrunken genitalia. Charlie is packing a lot down there!
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By rickchandComment by Rick Chandler: @The White Boom Boom: I will buy you said beer at the gala Mr. Celery Birthday celebration on June 28 more » | Other threads
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job opportunities
Bonds, Clemens Providing Endless Comedy Fodder For Minor League Teams
As long as Minor League Baseball has general managers willing to put out comedy press releases, Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens will always have job offers. Last week we told you about the Huntsville Stars' offer to make Clemens their backup mascot. Then on Wednesday, Bonds — who wants to play in the majors but has had zero bites — got a similar offer from the Lake Elsinore (Calif.) Storm. More »
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By rickchandComment by FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: I've just hired Bonds and Clemens to work as interns here at Kramerica Industries. more » | Other threads
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fun for the entire family!
Get Ready For The Pomp And Pageantry Of Eliot Spitzer Night
Our first 2008 chapter of Minor Enterprise is still a few weeks away, but there's no reason we can't get a jump on the Minor League Baseball promotional season with this bit of news: The Macon Music of the South Coast League will hold Eliot Spitzer Night on June 13th. I already have my tickets. More »
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By rickchandComment by IchiroSuzukiSamurai: The tickets are $4500, same as in town. more » | Other threads
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roger clemens
Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity
If Roger Clemens ever tires of heading out there and "defending" "his" name," he's gonna come to the harsh reality that he is, after all, unemployed. As you wonder aloud what he might be qualified to do — we suggest perhaps dry cleaning — the Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwaukee Brewers, have a job they think that might serve him: Mascot. More »
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By LeitchComment by shawnkemp40: If you look really hard you can almost make out a moose knuckle more » | Other threads
minor enterprise
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Sat Jul 11
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