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more about #nfl more comments → Silent Q: In the Bengals' defense, this actually is an image upgrade over their previous fourth-string running back, John Allen Muhammad. #larryjohnson more » Chris Hanson's Axe: Yeah I'm really not willing to criticize the Bengals as heretofore royal fuck-up Ced Benson is terrorizing the league. #larryjohnson more » BruschisBrewsky: Good decision: Going for it on 4th down because you have (arguably) the best offense in the league and your short-handed defense is sucking wind and t... more » Silky John-STON!: As long as that fat-fuck turk gets to knock on his door and wake him up at 5:15AM, cut him and then immediately ask him if he's planning on going to t... more » Phintastic: "I'll see you...on special teams." #larryjohnson more » DirkToberFest: I see only one faggot in this post... and his name is Gregg Easterbrook. #larryjohnson more » Jefferson Tardship: If they wanted to find a capable backup for Benson, shouldn't they have turned to a cook named Gretchen? #larryjohnson more » StuScott Booyahs: It'll be okay. I'm sure Larry Johnson will be content to be the fourth-string running back who hardly ever sees any playing time and will never compla... more » ScientificMapp: Marvin. MARVIN. I'd knock that shit off if I was you. #larryjohnson more » MarkKelsosMigraine: This is exactly like when Scott Weiland joined Velvet Revolver except with less Methadone. #larryjohnson more » -
#nfl
Just To Mess With Their Fans' Heads, Bengals Bring In Larry Johnson
Feeling pretty good about that 7-2 record, Bengal backers? In the AFC North driver's seat with a very favorable schedule ahead? Well, Mike Brown can definitely change that. What your team needs is a fourth-string RB with an attitude problem! More » -
#nfl
Belichick Was Right
I enjoy a national shanking of Bill Belichick as much as anyone, but I'm with Neon here: Belichick, who has won three Super Bowls treating football the way an actuary treats a term life policy, made the smart call yesterday.
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#nfl
Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them. More » -
#weekendwinner
Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick. More » -
#nfl
No One Films The Belichick In Failure
The NFL Films cameraman gets taken down hard by one of the Dark Lord's minions (or his camera's cable), and Bill bids him a fond farewell. (Bonus animated gif, after the jump!) More » -
#nfl
Even A Chris Simms Sighting Can't Ruin Today's Games
Dear NFL. Sorry for making fun of the crappy games every week. I guess you heard my complaints, because every single game today was within a score at the start of the fourth quarter. More » -
#nfl
Your Late Games Open Thread
See all those empty seats in St. Louis? Here's a nifty article on the shady math teams use to claim sellouts and avoid TV blackouts. I guess Jacksonville is either very honest, or not good at math. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch] -
#nfl
Old People Fantasy Football Is Adorable
A Massachusetts nursing home has started a fantasy football league for its residents, to give them something to do on Sundays. If their teams are anything like mine, that "something to do" is likely "wishing for death." More » -
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#nfl
Your Early Games Open Thread
Here it is, empirical proof that FOX thinks your desire to watch Brett Favre be Brett Favre trumps your desire to avoid Lions games at all cost. Also, enjoy that all-Florida crapfest, West Virginia. [The506] -
#nfl
Chad Ochocinco Fined Veinte Mil Dólares By Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano
¡Ay, caramba! Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver/prop comic Chad Ochocinco has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly attempting to bribe an official with a dollar bill during last Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens. More » -
#nfl
Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel] -
#nfl
NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing. More » -
#ballsdeep
Playing Offensive Line Is Horrible. Jamboroo, Week 10
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More » -
#nfl
Sometimes I Love Ochocinco So Much It Hurts
Even though they stopped him from sending mustard to Heinz Field, they can't stop Chad Ochocinco from rewriting the NFL rulebook. [Twitpic] -
#nfl
The Aaron Rodgers "Sack Tracker" Is Why We Have An Internet
What your life needs now is a detailed interactive chart of all 37 sacks made on the Packers QB this season. I think it was just updated as Rodgers was taken down buying lunch at Quiznos. [Madison.com] -
#nfl
I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV] -
#nfl
Larry Johnson Raises Kansas City's Unemployment Rate By One
The Chiefs have released the unhappy running back, denying him the chance to break the team's all-time rushing yards mark. (He was 75 shy of Priest Holmes' record.) There really is no I in"public relations nightmare"team. [KansasCityStar] -
#weekendwinner
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right. More » -
#nfl
Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them? More » -
#nfl
Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears. -
#nfl
San Diego Horndoggery Day Continues
Chris Chambers was released due to the Chargers concerns about his personal life: namely, some Fatal Attraction level stalking. He's got a restraining order out on his ex-girlfriend, after she sent "lurid" text messages to his wife. [SD Union-Tribune] -
#nfl
Your Early Games Open Thread
It's Cardinals vs. Bears in the match-up of teams we try to talk ourselves into believing are good. But they're not. Meanwhile, thankfully, the Skins game has been confined to the Zaxby's region of the country. [The506] -
#nfl
Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami] -
#ballsdeep
Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More » -
#nfl
Just What I Was Thinking; This Game Needs More Favre
Because you, the consumer, demanded it, FOX has a dedicated camera trained solely on Brett Favre (reader David demonstrates). Try to keep it in your pants. [Brett Favre cam] -
#nfl
The Good, The Bad and The Browns
That vaunted Broncos defense finally ran into a better one, while some quality teams struggled. Also, the usual terrible ones did too. More » -
#nfl
Your Late Games Open Thread
Dana Stubblefield's ex has a restraining order out on him. So basically...convicted steroid user has anger issues? I'm shocked and appalled. Use the comments to register your shock at the announcers occasionally mentioning Brett Favre used to play here. -
#nfl
Tom Cable Is An Equal Opportunity Puncher
His ex-wife and ex-girlfriend both tell Outside The Lines that Cable treated them like assistant coaches. Meanwhile, JaMarcus Russell goes woefully unstruck. [ESPN] -
#nfl
Your Early Game Open Thread
It's sort of a shame the rest of us won't get to see Detroit and St. Louis, sure to be the most even match-up of the day. And if the Rams don't win today, they're not winning ever. [The506] -
#gambling
Bad Beats: The Bane Of The Bookie
A weekly look at smart plays, oddball propositions and all your tales of gambling woe. Send your stories to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Bad beats. More » -
#nfl
Messing With Our Heads: A Former Player's Lament
With the brains of football players now a matter of national concern, writer Michael Oriard, a former Chiefs offensive lineman and a cultural historian, worries about both his own fate and the NFL's. More » -
#ballsdeep
HALLOWEENAROO! Jamboroo, Week 8
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. More » -
#nfl
Would Anyone Like To Own The Tampa Bay Buccaneers?
The Buccaneers are so sad this season that the local UFL team says they can beat them. Maybe owner Malcolm Glazer agrees, because according to Tampa sports talk radio station WDAE, he's putting the team up for sale. More » -
#nfl
We've Got A Rogue Hogette On The Loose
You know about the Redskins' porcine cross-dressers' club. But did you know they're very exclusive? This is the strangest Redskins story you'll read all...day. Maybe. More » -
#nfl
Congress Gets Involved In Concussion Debate, Fails To Solve Everything
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was called to the national principal's office today to explain to senile Congresspeople why football isn't the deadliest game in town. We had some trouble following the testimony because this terrible headache. More » -
#collegefootball
The NCAA Won't Be Lied To (Or, Why To Avoid Deion Sanders)
Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Byrant has been suspended for an entire year, not for breaking rules, but for lying about not breaking rules. Because misleading an NCAA investigator is the worst crime a human can commit. More » -
#nfl
Larry Johnson Suspended, Apologizes For The Gay Stuff
Chiefs running back Larry Johnson is awful sorry he called you all fags. He should have used a more acceptable term like "monkeybutts" or "dorkweasels" or even "boogermouths." Then maybe his bosses wouldn't have had to put him on suspension. More » -
#nfl
NFL Dementia Study Is Not Exactly "Scientific"
The NFL would like everyone to just calm down about all the brain-melting that they help create every Sunday, at least until they can finish their own personal scientific study that will be totally fair and not at all biased. More » -
#nfl
Larry Johnson Meltdown Arrives Later Than Expected This Season (Update)
The Kansas City Chiefs are a disaster, obviously, but look on the bright side—it took permanently disgruntled RB Larry Johnson seven whole games to launch an embarrassing tirade against his head coach. I think that's improvement! More » -
#nfl
New Country, Same Garbage Football
The Patriots are good and the Bucs are terrible, in any language. Wait, they speak American over there? More »
