• Eagles' kicker David Akers likely to miss Chiefs game. He'll spend his rehab hiding from Larry Allen. [Sports Network]
• Terror near the regular unleaded: Two Vikings arrested after gas station scuffle. Um, we mean Minnesota Vikings. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
• Bonds says he'd quit if his knee needed another surgery, then breaks down and weeps, screaming "Why? Why?" We may have made up that last part. [SF Gate]
• On racist college mascots, frivolous lawsuits and Big Dummies. [Flak]
• Bills' Spikes out for the year. There goes the Super Bowl. [A Lot Of Nothing]