Lenny Dykstra, Cosmopolitan

We know we make fun of ESPN a lot here, and much of it is justified, of course, but we are nothing if not fair. The big investigative steroid story gracing the cover of ESPN: The Magazine this week is, for lack of a better word, outstanding. Legitimately all-encompassing, it's sober, smart and full of all kinds of great info. It's the type of public service journalism that has been sorely lacking not just at the network, but in sportswriting all together. There. We said it. See? We're reasonable people.

Our personal favorite bit, however, involves everyone's favorite financial advisor Lenny Dykstra, whom the story implicates with considerable steroid abuse.

Scott "prescribed" a cocktail that blended several steroids, oral and injectable, and watched the little man explode. By season's end, he was the first player ever to lead the National League in at-bats, hits, walks and runs. The Phillies reached the World Series and Dykstra finished second to Barry Bonds in the MVP balloting. That winter, the team gave him a four-year, $24.9 million extension. The deal showed just how much money was available to players who could pump up their stats.

But it was the beginning of the end for Nails. Instead of pushing it in the gym during spring training of 1994, he lounged at a waterside spa and continued a long-running extramarital affair with the sister of his business partner's mistress.

A guy with this kind of judgment has to be anybody's first choice for investment advice. That last sentence is like an entire season of "Knots Landing."

Who Knew? [ESPN]
Lenny Dykstra, Your Financial Consultant [Deadspin]

(Big kudos, by the way, for Buster Olney, who, along with Tom Verducci, has been doing amazing stuff on the steroid beat. He's also all over the fake Steve Phillips story too; breaking real news there.)