You Can't Trust Cheerleaders. You CAN'T.

Proving once again that she has no idea how you succeed in this world, Panthers cheerleader Angela Keathley, the black-haired member of the duo, has released a statement to deny there was any sex at all. Despite statements from those who were waiting in line for them — and statements from everyone else in the country, who weren't there but TOTALLY KNOW ANYWAY — Keathley says she was upset after she ran into an old boyfriend in the bar (one about 1,000 miles from where she lives by the way) and Renee was "consoling" her.

"She just wanted to make clear there was no sex," Keathley's lawyer said. "The blonde was comforting her."

Whether or not they actually had sex or not — and we of course know they did, they did, they did — clearly Angela continues to fail to understand the world as she now knows it. She says she doesn't want to lose her nursing job. Honey, we know how much nurses make. We assure you ... there's more money out there for you right now. A lot. So just tell the truth. We can take it. We're gonna need specifics, however.

Sounds In Bathroom Were Tears, Not Sex, Ex-Cheerleader Says [Tampa Tribune]