Athlete Run-Ins: The Proper Way To Beep

Today s first athlete run-in story is more than 20 years old, which, frankly, makes it that much more fun and more believable. It involves old offensive lineman, current Fox broadcaster and - obviously, from that picture — avid hunter Bill Maas and his time at the University of Pittsburgh. We know Maas is hardly a huge name, but this story just makes us laugh the more we read it. It comes to us via John from Pittsburgh.

I was walking back to my dorm room along Forbes Avenue on the University of Pittsburgh campus back in the fall of 1981 behind a giant mass of humanity otherwise known as Bill Maas. Maas, a pedestrian wearing a Walkman (the epitome of technology back then), crossed an intersection against the light and was almost hit by some guy driving a Volkswagen Rabbit. The driver stopped the vehicle right in front of him and blew his horn loudly ("BEEEEEEEEEEEP!") at Maas. Maas took his two gigantic hands and gave the Rabbit a devastating hammer blow to the hood, making the little car rock violently, whereupon he screamed for the driver to "BEEP NICE!" After a stunned pause, he received a meek little "Beep" from the Rabbit, resulting in Maas releasing it unharmed. Ah, to be enormous and yet so sensitive to social injustice ...

That's so great. Any time anyone is ever mean to us from now on, we re going to scream at them, "BEEP NICE!"

Athlete Run-Ins: Marcus Allen's Active Evening [Deadspin]