This past March a couple of my friends and me were taking a week vacation in Miami. We ran into a couple of athletes on South Beach; we saw Kellen Winslow and his boys walking on the beach. (Ed. Note: Or, you know, crutching on the beach.) We took a picture of Shaq. But this story is about Deadspin s favorite NFL costume wearer Clinton Portis. One night my friends and I decided, instead of waiting in line for two hours to try and get into a club, we would walk up and down South Beach. As we were walking, one of my friends spotted Clinton Portis talking to a very attractive lady. Since I am a diehard Redskin fan, my friends told me I should go up say something to him. At first I said no, because I did not want to embarrass myself — and I didn't want to mess his game up. But two other guys walked by him, and they spoke to him and Portis shook their hands. After seeing that, I figured that I had nothing to lose. Apparently Portis had just approached the lady, and she did not recognize him; I think she knew he was a player, but I think she thought he was a backup or something. I told him I was a diehard Redskins fan, and he shook my hand and said thanks. He was really cool and friendly about the whole situation considering I approached him as he was talking to a lady. As I was walking back to my friends, I overheard the lady say, "So people do know who you are!" I think I helped Clinton Portis get laid.
Funny, one would think she would recognize him by the, you know, huge heart-shaped glasses.
(As always, we remind you, we are always taking more athlete run-in stories at firstname.lastname@example.org)