On Sunday Night Football, Panthers DE Greg Hardy introduced himself as "Kraken" and said his alma mater is Hogwarts. Surely that's crazy talk. But after reading Hardy's explanation, perhaps we were the crazy ones all along.
ESPN's David Newton transcribes a Monday chat with Hardy:
Reporter 1: "Where did you come up with Hogwarts?"
Kraken: "Have you ever seen Harry Potter? Hogwarts. A little witchcraft. Wizardry."
Reporter 1: "How long have you been thinking of that?"
Kraken: "It's The Kraken. Mystical. It's where he lives at."
Reporter 1: "You're mixing mythology and fantasy."
Kraken: "I can do whatever I want. I'm The Kraken. ... If you feel you can ask The Kraken personally where he goes to school, and prove me wrong, then I feel like I'll change it."
Reporter 2: "How long have you been Kraken?"
Kraken: "For as long as I can remember. Yesterday."
Reporter 1: "Is Ole Miss Hogwarts?"
Kraken: "No, that's not where I said I went. Hardy went to Ole Miss."
Reporter 1 as Reporter 2 steps back: "And Kraken didn't?"
Kraken: "That's time blown right there. You gotta listen. I'm talking. You've got to listen.'
If nothing else, it's now clear that Kraken will consume us all, and have a leg up on all the best jobs thanks to the noted Hogwarts alumni network.