In the wake of the Colts' loss yesterday, we feel obliged to give our sincerest sympathies to Lil Ronnie, the dope phat rappin' 12-year-old Indianapolis dawg, whose old-school raps about the Colts in the Super Bowl influenced some of the biggest names in rap today, including Doug Dogggg, the eight-year-old bling-addled Utah Jazz fan and Timmy T-Nuttzzzz, the world-famous infant with gold teeth who lays down the beats for the funked-out Columbus Blue Jackets.
We feel for you, Lil Ronnie. It is sad that your introduction to life's cruel foibles had to happen to you so soon. The good news, there are still countless bitches on your jock. That helps.