You Are Wasting Your Panties On Antwaan Randle-El

When he gets them in the mail, 'Twaan throws them away. Ben Roethlisberger, on the other hand, I think enjoys them. "Hey, Ben, when is the last time you got underwear in the mail?" Randle-El asks Roethlisberger.

"That's between me and them," says Ben.

So rest assured, female and Brokeback male readers, that if you send your undergarments to Ben Roethlisberger, he's not the kind of guy to sniff and tell.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ran an article on Friday about how the women of Pittsburgh view certain Steelers. As you might imagine, much of it is shudder-inducing, like the lady who says she wants to crawl inside Hines Ward's dimples, or the exceedingly rare woman who described Bill Cowher as "sexy." If there's a woman out there who finds Bill Cowher sexy, then there is hope for every single one of us.

And then there's the 9-year-old who wrote the following poem about Troy Polamalu.

Number 43 Glides Across the Field. His Sweet Hawaiian Hair Flows Behind Him. He Makes Great Interceptions Which Makes Me Cheer. He is Troy Polamalu. He is Great.