We don't know much, but there's one thing we're sure of: It would be a crime if you didn't have the right snacks for your Super Bowl party. To that end we present Big Ben's Beef Jerky, endorsed by Ben Roethlisberger himself and guaranteed to be made from solid strips of beef. The distributor, PLB Sports, has the whole story on its Web site:

"An initial run of only 12,000 bags of jerky will be available in the week leading up to the Steelers' first playoff game. We are already cranking up production for the next batch of Big Ben's Beef Jerky in anticipation of a quick sell-out," said PLB Sports president Ty Ballou.

For the record, we picture Ty Ballou as wheelchair bound, wearing a white suit and played by Joe Flaherty from "SCTV."

But if you are the least bit interested in beef jerky, we would advise that you pick up a bag. Because while the shelf life of smoked meat products is generally good, that of young quarterbacks often are not. That's life in the NFL. For proof, witness the sad litany of retired PLB Sports food products, which we also found on the site. These real, discontinued items include:

• Ed McCaffrey's Mac and Cheese.
• Chrebet Crunch Cereal.
• Hines Ward 86 Steak Sauce.
• Hot Rod's Poppin' Pop Corn.
• Bettis "The Bus" Peanut Butter.
• Dilger's Dijon Mustard.

Kind of an Island of Misfit Toys for food. There is nothing sadder, my friend, than learning out your time is up by discovering that your mustard is no longer available at Eagle Food Center.

Big Ben's Beef Jerky [PLB Sports]
Retired Football Products [PLB Sports]

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