To Watch Tonight

What to watch as people make fun of your television set ...
• College Basketball: Texas Tech at Kansas, Hawaii at Utah State. "What the ... reading Deadspin at work?! $%#&!! Give me ten liners, you puke! I'll choke you like Neil Reed, you little $%#!@! Now get back to work!" [ESPN2]
• Winter X Games: at Aspen, Colo. Wow, we're sensing negative vibes. Step off, dude! [ESPN]
• NHL: Philadelphia at New York Rangers. New network motto: Why not take a break from watching Ted Nugent kill things to watch some hockey? [OLN]