Deadspin s own A.J. Daulerio is in Detroit, trying to find things to do. He files this report; check out all his reports right here.

Live From SBXL: JoJo Heads to Cobo

(Author's Note: The cake picture actually has nothing to do with this story. I just forgot to put it up in the Jimmy Kimmel Green Room story and thought it would be a shame to waste.) Before I went on the air on AOL Sports Bloggers Live, I had the opportunity to walk around Cobo Hall at the NFL Experience. Now, for those of you who haven't read about the NFL Experience, imagine a giant NFL carnival erected in the middle of a, um, giant hall. And imagine it being attended by every individual whose every worn a personalized game jersey and owns vanity Detroit Lions license plates. And, of course, throw into that mix a 1 1/4 pound salami football and you have plenty of opportunity for chaos.

JoJo did as many activities as he could. He was weighed on an actual NFL scale, he sat in plaster-castered replica of a 400-pound lineman's leg, he watched actual NFL footballs get made and he sat on top of a headless body of an Atlanta Falcon. But, of course, there were plenty of things he was not allowed to do.

Chuck Klosterman interviewed the Rolling Stones yesterday and blogged about that. I lost my rental car and took a salami football to a shlocky family-oriented coporate shill fest to make fun of people. How am I doing?

Find out what else JoJo could do and which party I was officially banned from this evening, after the jump. Also watch some of the not-so-shaky/dark-video in which I meet the great Joe Ilowski, adopt JoJo and let loose on Cobo Hall.

· JoJo wasn't allowed to be tossed through a tire.

· He was also not allowed to be tossed into a soccer net.

·He was not allowed to be kicked through a goalpost.

· He was not allowed to be shoved into the "world famous" Diet Pepsi machine's deposit door.

· He was not allowed to run the 40.

· He was not allowed to be interviewed on AOL Sports Bloggers Live.

· He was not allowed to be shoved into Tom Arnold's pocket.

· Damien Woody would not sign JoJo.

But, like JoJo, we know what it feels like to be told "No!"

From: fuckingflak@eastsidepr.com
Date: February 3, 2006 1:27:32 PM EST
To: nicelady@nicemagazine.com
Subject: RE: ESPN party request

So sorry XXXX. I guess AJ will not be allowed. Nothing to do with XXXX(Nice) Magazine, but ESPN will not allow anyone from Deadspin in the event. And I was just told that AJ will not be allowed in do to his affiliation with them.So sorry. Trying to find out the reason...

It had to be the salami football.