To Watch Tonight

A kinky three-way between your ass, the sofa and the TV ...
• College Basketball: LSU at South Carolina, Illinois at Minnesota. Are we having Illini pie or Gopher stew? [ESPN]
• NHL: Minnesota at Colorado. And we're back, after the longest layoff since the strike. Except for the Swedes, of course, who are still partying. [OLN]
• NBA: Timberwolves at Bulls. Two animals who really don't like each other. [WCIU]