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Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This ... is our BOOMstick! Twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in our sporting goods department. That's right; this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

We got news for you pal: You ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit ... and Jack just left town. If your primitive intellect allows you to understand things with alloys and compositions and things with, uh, molecular structures, please click here.

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