Jose Guillen, Money Manager

We've got to consider it, at this point, very possible that the reason Nationals outfielder Jose Guillen never received any lessons in financial management is because they were scared at him.

Because it's clear he never received any lessons in financial management.

Wednesday night, while Guillen played against the Marlins, his girlfriend was robbed of $10,000 from his paycheck. How did she have access to his paycheck, you ask?

Well, it turns out, she was actually cashing a portion of his weekly paycheck ... at a check cashing service in a rough section of northeast Washington, D.C. She was jumped outside a Money Mart with nearly $12,000 in her Louis Vuitton purse.

We know a lot more Deadspin readers know DC better than we do ... but they do have banks there, yes? At least one?

Ghetto Fabulous [Chin Music]