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Because we're all about the high culture here, we're bringing you the poetry funk today. So we hope you're ready.

The fine folks at OutSports directed us to a contest figure skater Johnny Weir was hosting on his Web site: Submit your Johnny Weir poems! Johnny himself picked out the winner, from a Netherlands woman named Renate Linnenkoper. (Which, by the way, is Dutch for "Kordell Stewart.") Here's an excerpt:

And on that ice, a figure stands
His face framed by raven strands
His visage adorned by hazel eyes
Reminiscent of lover's feverish goodbyes

That is truly the best poem we've read today that was written by a person with greater-than-but-not-equal-to six unicorn tattoos.

Weir's Poetry Winner [OutSports]