Isiah Thomas, Charming Fellow

As we prepare ourselves for the inevitable 15-jet-pileup that will be Isiah Thomas taking over as coach of the Knicks — because you know it's happening — we cordially invite you to take in this twice-told tale of Isiah, back when he was working with the Raptors.

To set the scene, our author's friend was working as an accountant brought in to look over the Raptors' finances. Isiah then walked into the room. With all the typical caveats that this is a secondhand tale and what-not, here you go:

My friend greets [Isiah] courteously, explains that he's glad to be up north of the border working for the team, and then gets right back into the number trenches, lest anyone accuse him of slacking off. Isiah watches the guy work a moment, silently, studiously, judiciously ... and then he decides to speak.

"you chose to do this with your life?"

With that, the man who would eventually destroy the CBA and the New York Knickerbockers singlehandedly, smugly purses his lips, shakes his head dismissively and carries himself out of the room on a steaming trail of slime.

So ... many ... jokes ... don't ... know ... where ... to ... start.

The 19 Scariest Words In The English Language [Simon Metz]