Wichita State Needs A New Mascot

They're not renaming themselves, thankfully, they just want to replace the guy on the left there. When I first saw the headline, I feared that the people at Wichita State had gotten tired of all the jokes that make people like us so happy. But that's not the case, and besides, changing to something a little more innocent would probably hurt merchandise sales.

Apparently, WuShock the mascot has a costume that is too cumbersome and unwieldy, making it hard for him to do anything except stand there. Whenever he tries to shake hands with someone, his other hand has to hold his head in place, so it doesn't pop off. That tends to upset children, as the shocker often does. Just ask R. Kelly.

But I say who needs a mascot when this young lady is around? Who better to represent the university than her?

Anyway, if any of you can come up with a visual representation of what you think the Shocker mascot should be, feel free to pass them along. mjd@deadspin.com. And if I get a few good ones that aren't too filthy, I'll run them later in the day.

Unwieldy costume restricts Shocker mascot [Wichita Eagle]