So, for those who might have missed it yesterday, Cleveland Indians relief pitcher Scott Sauerbeck was arrested with a female companion after weaving drunkenly through traffic and then hiding in some bushes behind a house. (That's his mugshot, there.) No explanation had been given for the sudden dive-in-the-brush, but today, Sauerbeck attempted to shed some light on the situation, apologizing to his family and "fans" and giving a vague explanation for his behavior.
"In trying to do the right thing; I made a terrible error in judgment," Sauerbeck said. "It's something I'm going to have to life with the rest of my life. I'm a big boy, and I'm going to have to deal with it."
He said he couldn't "legally" get into the "do the right thing" statement, but we have a few guesses.
• The woman was suffering the side effects of blood pressure medication, and he was dragging her into the bushes to stealthily plunge an adreneline syringe into her heart.
• The people whose home he hid behind had a broken water pipe, and he thought he'd do some 3 a.m. fixing.
• He thought he saw Osama.
• Somebody yelled, "Hey, Carl Monday!"