Mark Cuban's Self Diagnosis

We would like to formally congratuate the Dallas Mavericks and their owner, the billion-dollar penised Mark Cuban, for their convincing Western Conference clinching victory Friday evening. The Mavericks have been the most consistently enjoyable team to watch this postseason, and we are pleased to have seen them finally break through.

It's also a tremendous personal victory for Cuban, of course, who, unfortunately, is already posting lame "nobody RESPECTED US!" platitudes on his blog. This, of course, is the exact opposite of why people like Cuban; we like him because he seems like a particularly rich fan, rather than just another "give me respect" athlete. The real Cuban, we suspect, can be found in a story a reader tells, of seeing Cuban out in Arizona last Thursday.

Some friends and I went to a club, Devil's Martini, in Scottsdale. It's kind of swanky, and it's not unusual to run into local celebs there. So I'm standing near the bar and I look over and standing in a doorway is Mark Cuban. I'm a diehard Suns fan, but it's hard to hate the guy, especially because come on, does any team really have beef with the Mavericks? Anyway, some friends and I walk over and say hi and shake his hand, whatever. A little later that night, Cuban walks near our group and three of our female friends start dancing up on him. And at this point, he's drunk, so he's making his silly Mark Cuban facial expressions and bumping and grinding along. Then he looks straight at me and says "Someone had to be the luckiest dickhead in the world, might as well have been me!" then walks away to go do shots with the bartender.

Mark Cuban: Luckiest Dickhead in the world. Bully for him!

The Mavs Can't? [Blog Maverick]