The World Cup is almost here! So that you aren't caught flat-footed, we're previewing each group, in no particular order, to explain why your team has no chance to win (you'll thank us later). Today: Group B! If you have any thoughts on a particular group, send them to firstname.lastname@example.org. Our operators are standing by.
Some may argue, but England is the big celebrity in this World Cup, even if Wayne Rooney could miss the group stage due to injury. But with all the talk of Beckhams and Rooneys, what of steady Frank Lampard, who already has 10 goals for the Three Lions? At any rate, England should advance here, as should Sweden. England will be looking for revenge when the two meet, as Sweden surprisingly emerged on top of the 2002 group of death, ahead of both England and Argentina, only to then lose to Senegal (laugh track). There shouldn't be much trouble here from Trinidad and/or Tobago. Paraguay could surprise, though, led by Nelson Haedo Valdez. The vital statistics:
• Group B: England, Paraquay, Sweden, Trinidad & Tobago.
• Our pick to win: England.
• Which means the winner will probably be: Sweden. (Two teams advance).
• No chance: Trinidad & Tobago.
• If they advance, Mark Knopfler will be sending postcards from: Paraguay.
• Match schedule.