The World Cup is ominously close! So that you aren't caught offside (they have that in soccer, … Read more Read more
Remember: We're about 20 years behind on our soccer, so please don't make too much fun of us when/if we get something wrong. We have never been to either one of these countries; they're in Africa, right?
Match is about to begin, so after the jump, join us for all the live-blogging you could possibly handle. Please feel free to leave your own comments or
email us with your thoughts as well. Enjoy, or at least try to.
1:50: And that will wrap it up. No World Cup host has ever lost an opening game, and it remains so today: Germany 4, Costa Rica 2. Six goals, some yellow cards and a rollicking crowd. Hard to argue with that as a starter. Enjoy Mr. Cardillo's Ecuador-Poland rundown in about an hour. Thanks for dropping by. 1:46: So much for the keepaway: Germany blasts in a "40-yard rocket," and this will officially do it. The guy who hit it — whose name, once again, we can't spell — looks like a tennis player from the '70s. In the 87th minute, it's Germany 4, Costa Rica 2. 1:43: About 10 minutes left. Keepaway continues. 1:42: From a reader: "Dave O'Brien has driven me to Univision. No "you can't teach speed" comments, about the same camera angles and NO tape delay." 1:38: Germany still trying to play keep-away — is that how you spell "keep-away?" — and they're bringing in the equivalent of a run-out-the-clock team. Out comes Klose, who scored the two goals, and it comes a faster ballhandler. We guess. 1:32: And here comes Costa Rica again! They must have two shots right now, and they're both goals. Seventeen minutes left, and it's Germany 3, Costa Rica 2. And we've got a stretcher out here for a hurt player, but he walks it off. In solidarity, the paramedic flops. (We kid!) 1:30: Germany is now officially playing keep-away. 1:29: O'Brien unleashes a groaner; "Whoever says you can't use your hands in soccer, that's a total misnomer." 1:27 Corner kicks are always fun. Not as much fun as when someone tries to head the ball and misses, though. 1:23: Damned database! Went so slow that we're a couple minutes late on Miroslav Klose's second goal, a fun head-to-goalie-to-foot combination. Always fun. Sums up our prom. Germany 3, Costa Rica 1. Costa Rica is making some substitutions. 1:18: The general consensus is that broadcaster Dave O'Brien is talking WAYYY too much. It's as if he has to show off that he knows who the player with the ball is by announcing it every time someone touches the ball. We feel we should cut him some slack; this is hardly his beat. 1:12: This is when the game starts to slow down a bit; Germany's job right now is just to poke around for a while until something frees up. If nothing frees up, the poking is fine. Sixty-three percent possession for Germany so far, which, when you add that to be 9/10ths of the law ... well, we were told there would be no math. 1:06: We're back. A correction from before: Costa Rica has scored a goal before in the World Cup, so we either heard wrong, or the announcers are full of it. Probably both. HALFTIME: GERMANY 2, COSTA RICA 1 12:46: We're into stoppage time ... and now we're at halftime. Germany 2, Costa Rica 1. Who says they don't score in soccer? We'lll be back after we listen to the siren song of Julie Foudy at halftime. 12:44: Germany now has 11 shots on goal to Costa Rica's 1, and they're completely in control. Still just 2-1, though. 12:42: Aw, some dude just got popped in the face with the ball. Sorry. That's always funny. We're nearing halftime. 12:40: A friend of ours was telling us how his father consistently gets the name of our parent company wrong, called it "Gonker." We think half the Germany team might be named "Gonker." 12:38: Germany has obviously dominated this game, yet they're still only up by one goal. We know that's like being up 10 points in football, or four runs in baseball, but it still feels close. 12:36: Something we're learning, right now: It's much more difficult to live blog a game when there are no commercial breaks. We probably should have thought about that. 12:33: By the way, our first yellow card. Our broadcasters helpfully explain what a yellow card is, and to their credit, they do a good job of not being too condescending, the way our dad is when he tries to explain the infield fly rule to our mom. 12:31: Costa Rica's goaltender looks like the pretentious art teacher on "Six Feet Under." But man, did we just sound lame typing that. 12:29: We know hitting the ball with your chest is a key part of soccer, but we really don't see any reason for "chesting" to every be used as a verb. 12:25: We'd like to point out that they're serving Budweiser at the World Cup this year. We love a good Bud, but we can understand how that might make some cantankerous. 12:22: Germany leads in shots 7-1, but is only up 2-1. One of the Costa Rican players just missed a breakway, and Announcer Dave said, "he just almost had a magical moment there." Is that possible? Can you almost have a magical moment? 12:20: Miroslav Klose scored the goal; he had a hat trick against Saudi Arabia in the last World Cup. But hey: Who HASN'T scored a hat trick against Saudi Arabia. (Don't answer that.) 12:17: The announcers just said, "This crowd has gotten awfully quiet." We're sorry, but there's no way a Woirld Cup crowd ever gets quiet. For a moment, the paused from screaming to "gasp." And now they're screaming again. We're 17 minutes in, and two goals ... and then ANOTHER Germany goal! It's like a pinball machine! These teams are coached by Paul Westhead! The guy who scored the goal — and we're not going to be able to spell his name — is apparently celebrating his birthday today. We never imagined them celebrating birthdays in Germany. Germany 2, Costa Rica 1. 12:14: Hell, this game isn't even a pitcher's duel anymore; Costa Rica scores on a play that was this close to being offsides. That's the first goal in Costa Rica World Cup history, we're told. It was fun to look in one corner of the Munich stadium and see a bunch of Costa Rican fans just going NUTS. We're already excited. Germany 1, Costa Rica 1. 12:11: Lahm scored the goal. He's a defender. Here is his German Wikipedia page. This looks like every guy who caused us not to get a girl in high school. 12:09: GOALLLL!!!! Germany scores, and the crowd goes crazy, saying whatever things they say in Germany to express joy. It sounded like a big collective grunt. Germany 1, Costa Rica 0. 12:07: There was a shot on goal by Germany, but it went high. Marcelo just said, "It's gonna take some time to get some rhythm into this game, which is good, because it has none so far. 12:03: One of the things we find strange about soccer? The refs are kind of like celebrities. The guy doing today's game has a headset and ripped arms that make him look like a Madonna dancer. 12:01: The much-maligned broadcaster Dave O'Brien — whose familiarity with soccer rivals ours — is doing the game today, and we still aren't quite sure he's not using a green. He's with a guy named Marcelo, and you know what that means: He's got a mullet! 11:59: With all the talk of steroids and HGH and greenies in baseball, it's refreshing to get back to something that represents heartland American values: Soccer! Let's do it!