Our long national nightmare is over: Roger Clemens is back. How did we ever make it so long without him? His "return," obviously, would have a little more resonance if he had, you know, ever left, but whatever. He's back. Playing the Twins. We hope Bat Girl comes up with a Lego version of him.

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You're asking: Hey, is there any way we could follow along with Clemens the way that ESPN cuts in on him? Of course you can! It's the Web! Off the Baggie will be live-blogging the game, and hopefully they'll capture all the B12 excitement.

Remember, everyone: Christ himself has come down from the mountaintop and is allowing you to watch him pitch. Please, do try to look appreciative.

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Roger Returns [MLB.com]
Joe Mauer And Some Pitcher Guy [Off the Baggie]