Cultural Oddsmaker: Isiah And The Knicks

A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail.

Larry Brown might be the luckiest man in the world. He'll get a nice settlement from his $50 million contract and, most important, be relieved of all responsibility to coach the 2006 Knicks. Sure, his "dream job" didn't work out, but now he can sit back and watch the big boat smash into the iceberg from the comfort of his own leather sectional.
Not so for Isiah Thomas, who at this stage of his career, has an ego that far outweighs his ability to do anything but make lewd comments to female Knick executives and sign overrated free agents. But I'm sure he'll make a great coach. Really.

Let's employ the crackpot handicapping skills to the NEW-NEW New York Knicks. 2006: a year better? After the jump, get all your Knicks odds.

Knickerbocker Oddsmaking

Odds of drafting a true point guard in first round: 4/1

Odds of drafting a European in first round: 3/1

Odds of trading picks for Allen Iverson: 6/1

Odds of signing Allan Houston to 6-year, $100 million contract to become assistant coach: 2/1

Cultural Oddsmaker: Isiah And The Knicks

Odds Knicks sign revitalized free agent Shawn Kemp to 5-year, $40 million deal: 7/1

Odds new Knick Shawn Kemp impregnates a Knicks City Dancer: EVEN

Odds new Knick Shawn Kemp impregnates a folding chair: EVEN

Odds new Knick Shawn Kemp impregnates himself: EVEN

Odds James Dolan steps down, sells shares to Isiah Thomas: 4/1

Odds that before All-Star break new majority owner/GM/coach Isiah Thomas un-retires, signs himself to long term contract as point guard: 6/1

Odds Isiah Thomas slapped with new sexual harassment suit: 5/1

Odds new sexual harassment suit filed by Channing Frye: 7/1

Fun With the Over Under

Knick Wins: 12

Cultural Oddsmaker: Isiah And The Knicks

Stephon Marbury points per game avg.: 32

Stephon Marbury assists per game avg.: 1.7

Stephon Marbury Tattoos per game avg.: 13

Spike Lee exasperated head shakes per game avg: 20

MSG avg. attendance during Knicks game: 4,500

MSG avg. attendance during St. John's Women's Basketball game: 4,600