We've always wondered what it would be like to go to a championship parade for one of our favorite teams, but every time we get excited about the notion, the bastards go and, say, lose eight games in a row and ruin it for us. But still. We imagine it Albert Pujols riding by in a float, throwing us candy, and Tony LaRussa tipping his cap to us, thanks for the support, buddy, go Birds.

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In reality, it's probably a lot more like this guy's description of the Miami Heat championship parade, in which he stands behind a bunch of fans taller than him and gets lots of pictures of the back of people's heads. We'll put it this way: That picture there, of Pat Riley, is the best one he's got.

We're not sure why people go to these, actually; it's always hot and crowded and sweaty. It's like a concert festival without the music, a Six Flags line without a rollercoaster at the end.

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Scorching Day [Miami Sports Dudes]