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We did everything in our power to avoid this story, but sometimes these things take on their own inertia. Can't be stopped, can't be helped: You know how it goes.

Anyway, David Hasselhoff was kicked out of Wimbledon for being too drunk. Initially he showed up without a ticket, and then once he had one, guards escorted him — politely, of course — off the grounds after being "steaming drunk."

Hasselhoff, who has fought a long battle with booze, yelled at staff: "You should let me in. Do you know who I am? I'm The Hoff."

As sad as it might be to see the resurgence of a great American artist sullied by the demon call of alcohol, we nevertheless can't help but thank him for introducing the phrase "I'm the Hoff" into the general lexicon. We would like to officially advocate the phrase to be used by Chad Johnson while protesting an excessive celebration penalty, any Italian player after a dive and, of course, any time Dirk needs a foul call.

Boozy Star Is Hoff His Face [The Sun]

(UPDATE: It appears this story isn't true. A pity, really.)