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• ESPN not only wants your sports blogs, they're signing their top staffers up, whether they know it or not.
• You absolutely cannot beat Kobayashi.
• Jose Canseco demanded a trade. Really.
Three strikes ... you're dead.
• The four-millionth reason baseball players should stay away from Match.com.
• Please, someone help Evander Holyfield.
• Eddie Griffin watches strangely named porn films.
Get a job at Page 2.
• Drink your fill of Ozzie Guillen.
• Maurice Clarett, imaginary football player.
• Boy, RFK Stadium sure was fun ... what we remember, anyway.

All righty ... a travel-filled, exhausting week over here. Our email is fixed, by the way, so you can drop us a line at tips@deadspin.com again.

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The Mighty MJD is doing something crazy; he's taking a weekend off. His fill-in is none other than cultural oddsmaker A.J. Daulerio, who will do his best to hold down the fort around here. Email him your tips, enjoy his handiwork and the World Cup ... and we'll see you Monday.