It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men and women — will compete in a series of self-love events to raise money for safe sex groups. We hear you snickering; but as Woody Allen once said on the subject, "Hey, I don't make fun of your hobbies."
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