Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You KnowRick Chandler7/18/06 3:30pmFiled to: WhimsyCarl MondayCompetitive WankingMike Cooper92EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkThis image was lost some time after publication. It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men and women — will compete in a series of self-love events to raise money for safe sex groups. We hear you snickering; but as Woody Allen once said on the subject, "Hey, I don't make fun of your hobbies."