What you missed while while being watching Jorge Freaking Sosa hit a home run ...
• MLB: Oh, the shame. Braves 15, Cardinals 3. Time now for many beers.
• Poker: Jeff Madsen, 21, wins World Series of Poker on money borrowed from parents. Also, he left their stereo equalizer with a preponderance of bass.
• Softball World Cup: Cat Osterman fans 11 to lead USA over Japan for title. Take that, beyotch!