• Larry Johnson, hitting the Kansas City nightlife. [The Pitch]
• Hey, ANYBODY could have A-Rod! [Sportszilla]
• All Dan Morgan is missing is Bubbles the chimp and the Elephant Man's bones. [Charlotte Observer]
• It's the massage therapist. It's always the damned massage therapist. [CBS Sportsline]
• Another reason you should never let bloggers on television. [MSNBC]

(UPDATE: Yes, we now know the Larry Johnson article is old. Our apologies; we were in a hurry today and missed the timestamp. No excuse: Our screwup. It's still a good piece, though.)