Your Trade Deadline Roundup ...

All right, the little timer on ESPNews has expired, and apparently the trade deadline is now over. Beware: Sometimes trades sneak through past the deadline; the Randy Johnson-to-Houston trade from about 10 years ago — Gawd, we're old — wasn't announced until a few hours past the then-midnight deadline.

But here's what's happened so far. Most noteworthy, by the way: Alfonso Soriano, it was just announced, will remain a Washington National. Which is awesome. Bowden's drunk again!

Here goes:

• The Mets have traded Xavier Nady to the Pirates for Roberto Hernandez and Oliver Perez. Remember Oliver? You do not want to know how much he destroyed our fantasy team last year. All kinds of activity in Pittsburgh: Sean Casey was shipped to Detroit, which, amusingly, sent Sloth to the minor leagues, and Craig Wilson to the Yankees for Shawn Chacon. Oh yeah, and Kip Wells went to Texas. This now concludes any obligation to discuss the Pirates until next March.

• Fox Sports says Greg Maddux is going to play for the Dodgers. It seems really weird that Greg Maddux was traded. Speaking of the Dodgers, they picked up Julio Lugo from the Devil Rays, which gives them about 10 veteran infielders.

Todd Walker, one of the jerks who swept the Cardinals this weekend, is going to San Diego

• The Reds, who are still leading the wild-card, we might add, picked up Kyle Lohse from the Twins and Rheal Cormier from the Phillies. No, they did not trade Adam Dunn and Bronson Arroyo for them.

• Hey, the Royals made a trade! It's Matt Stairs is going to Texas for some guy named Joselo.

The best news of all comes from Baseball Musings: Peter Gammons continues to improve. We missed him today.

(UPDATE: Hey, the Cardinals traded for Jorge Sosa. AWESOME.)