It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged the walrus" for charity on Saturday in London with, um, satisfying results. The winner raised more than 500 pounds for charity, there was one sad, lonely protester — it wasn't Carl Monday — and plans are already being made for next year's event. As for other details, let's go to the Guardian Unlimited:
The participants ... were almost exclusively male, and included gay men, transvestites with body piercings, an artist's model and a porn actress hired by the Daily Sport. They waited patiently on a cramped staircase before being invited up to a photographic studio which had been decorated with Moroccan-style lanterns and cushions, red and gold drapes, ornate mirrors and erotic pictures and statuettes. Lubricants and pornographic magazines were provided, as were bottles of water, boxes of Capri-Sun and packets of Cadburys shortcake biscuits.
Also, there was this:
Participant Neil Crawforth, 28, left his wife at their home in Cambridge while he came to do his thing. 'I'm not a good swimmer and I can't run very far, but this is something I can do for charity,' said the software engineer.
All in all, it was wanking's finest hour. Or, finest three minutes ... whatever the case may be.