There's a big fight tonight on pay-per-view. Hasim Rahman, the only American boxer that still holds a heavyweight title, fights for American pride against Oleg Maskaev.
"I need to hold it down for my country," Rahman said. "If I lose this fight, I let me down, my family down, my team down and my country down. I never before have I felt like I put my country on my back."
Only a couple of problems with that. 1) His opponent, Oleg Maskaev is an American citizen, and lives in Staten Island. 2) No one really cares about this fight. 3) No one really cares that much about Hasim Rahman the boxer. And 4) No one really cares about heavyweight boxing anymore.
But other than that, yeah, it's really stirring the patriot in me. It's actually a rematch of a fight that Rahman dominated, right up until Oleg knocked him out... of the ring. You can see it here. The fight on on Pay-Per-View tonight, and is only $49.95. What? Oh, you think that's too much? $49.95 is too much for you to spend on witnessing a beautiful moment of national pride? You are a sick communist son of a bitch, that's what you are.