Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you're just lonely, contact us at email@example.com.
It's the story you've heard a thousand times: Costumed beaver is driving home from work; decides to stop at local watering hole; gets way hammered; spends entire mascot paycheck. "Hey everyone! The beaver is buying another round!" Ah, to be young, foolish and semi-aquatic. The above photo comes to us from an employee of the Salem-Keizer (Ore.) Volcanoes, the Giants' short-A affiliate, who was in charge of the costumes following the team's recent "mascot jamboree." Among those in attendance were Blitz, the Willamette University mascot, the Carl's Jr. star, the Red Robin robin, the Jamba Juice banana ... you get the idea. Also in attendance was Boomer, the mascot for the Portland Beavers. The employee was supposed to drop off the suit at the Beavers' stadium, PGE Park, following the game. But as you can see, he made at least one stop along the way.
As soon as the game ended, I took the suit to a bar, put it on in the parking lot, and went into the bar dressed as Boomer the Beaver. Unfortunately, you can't drink with the beaver's head on, so I had to take it off. They made me take it off anyway to get carded. Seriously, who cards a mascot?
Our headline, of course, is from the classic, multi-Oscar-winning film Zorro: The Gay Blade, the movie that contains the only other example we know of in which a costumed beaver is "carded." As for our tipster in the Beaver suit, he would like to remain anonymous. And that's as it should be. But rest assured, if he sends us any further of his beaver adventures, you will be the first to know.
This week's featured promotions:
• Post-Game Karaoke with Masa Koyanagi (Wednesday, Brevard County Manatees, Florida State League). The "Japanese Karaoke Master", as well as the Manatees' trainer, will lead fans to a world of musical delight. (Thanks to Benjamin Hill for the tip).
• Tropicana Twister World Record Attempt (Thursday, Ottawa Lynx, Independent League). Ever wonder what 2,000 minor league baseball fans dancing The Twist look like? Us neither. But it's for a world record, so head on down to Lynx Stadium for the fun. There will even be instructors from the Fred Astaire Dance Studios to help people to learn The Twist. Oh, well why didn't you say that in the first place? (Thanks to Neate Sager for the tip).
• Snakes In A Ballpark (Friday, Lakewood BlueClaws, South Atlantic League). On the same day that the movie Snakes on a Plane is released, the BlueClaws will capitalize by allowing fans to handle real snakes, including an Anaconda. What could possibly go wrong?
• Hairiest Back Competition (Sunday, Mahoning Valley Scrappers, New York-Penn League). We did not wish to look into this too closely. (Thanks to Benjamin Hill for the tip).
• Bobblehead Of The Moment: Monday, Aug. 21, Gary Brown Bobblehead Giveaway, Williamsport Crosscutters, New York-Penn League. The former NFL running back was also a standout player for his high school team, the Williamsport Millionaires. The Crosscutters will honor their hometown hero by giving away 1,000 bobblehead dolls featuring a jheri-curled Brown in his high school uniform. Brown himself will be on hand to throw out the first pitch and sign autographs. Of course he will. (From Benjamin Hill).
• Mascot Of The Week: The Wilmington Blue Rocks Celery. Yes, this team's mascot is a stalk of celery. The full report from reader Mike Bustard, after the jump.
"When the Rocks get a runner on second or third, they are said to 'have celery.' When that runner scores, watch out, because Celery comes out and runs around like a 5-year-old trying to get away from the neighbor's chihuahua. Also, the last time I saw a game, the music that played was "Boom Boom Boom" by the VengaBoys. The Blue Rocks used to be a Royals affiliate, but went over to the Red Sox during the 2004 season. That's why the Sox won the World Series, contrary to any other reports. Don't doubt the power of the Celery. P.S., Yes, they serve ants on a log (celery, peanut butter and raisins) at the stadium ... and beer (yes, i used the ellipses). — Mike Bustard.