For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure

Noon, ESPN High School Football. Belle Glades Central (Fla) at Byrnes (SC). This... seems like a bit much.
1:00, CBS. WTA Tennis. U.S. Open Series, Pilot Pen, Final. Justine Henin-Hardenne vs. Lindsay Davenport.
1:00, Fox. MLB. Regional. Cubs @ Cardinals, or Nationals @ Braves. The Cubbies are a tremendous cure for a losing streak.
2:00, ESPN2. LPGA Golf. Wendy's Championship for Children. I think it's wrong that there's a professional golf tour for children.
2:00, NBC. Swimming. Mutual of Omaha Pan-Pacific Championships. Since when is it OK for a major network to broadcast swimming on a Saturday afternoon?
2:00, CBS. PGA Golf. WGC Bridgestone Invitational, Third Round. If it was Tiger vs. the field, and Tiger was giving the field four strokes... I might have to think about it.
3:30, ABC. Little League Baseball. Beaverton (Ore) vs. Columbus (Ga). I'm positively aching to see a bench-clearing brawl in this thing.
4:00, Fox. MLB. Regional. Yankees @ Angels. Find your game here.
4:00, ESPN2. WNBA Basketball. Detroit Shock @ Connecticut Sun. No matter the outcome of this series, headline writers will have a ball with the Sun either rising or setting.
4:00, ESPNU. College Football. Tuskegee @ Stillman. LIVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL! LIVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Eh, I'm probably not going to watch, though.
4:00, NBC. Golf. U.S. Amateur Championship, Semifinals. I'm sorry, fellas, but I don't see any point in being that good at golf and not making some money with it.