We're not much into tennis, as you can probably tell from the sad link that is our tennis page, but we will confess an affection for Andre Agassi.
We're not sure why, exactly: When we (and he) were younger, he struck us as everything that was wrong with sports, a longhaired pretty boy asshead who kept telling us how badass he was in a fashion that was about as threatening as Richard Simmons. (We spent the last hour looking for a YouTube of "The Ben Stiller Show"'s famous riff on Agassi, a Die Hard-like action film called Advantage: Agassi. We had no luck.) Do you realize this guy once dated Barbra Streisand? Jesus. He looked like one of the Nelson brothers, if he had gotten slapped a few times by the other one.
But then he got all Transformers on us, shaved his head, married Steffi Graf and became a normal person ... and a damned good tennis player too. We can't look at the Agassi now and the Agassi then and even consider that they resemble the same person. Anyway, the U.S. Open began in Queens today, and Agassi plays what could be his final match tonight. We're rooting for him to make a run, but the guy is 36 years old, which, in tennis, makes him the equivalent of Julio Franco's father. We wish him good luck, sincerely. Kind of sincerely.
U.S. Open [Official Site]
(UPDATE: Oh, and here's the "Advantage Agassi" video.)