• MLB: St. Louis Cardinals @ Houston Astros. This should be a solid three hours of Clemens worship. 8:00, ESPN.
• Movie. The Longest Yard. Ever since the remake came out... I just can't enjoy any movie that doesn't star Nelly. 8:00, ESPN Classic.
• NFL: Denver Broncos @ New England Patriots. At halftime, Bill Brasky will breastfeed John Madden. 8:15, NBC.

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