Behold The Glory That Is Gilbert

In case you had any doubt that Wizards superstar Gilbert Arenas is the most subtly weirdo human in sports right now, DC Sports Bog invites you to check out this month's Esquire interview with Agent Zero himself. The level of pure oddity is pretty much off the charts. Some highlights, culled from DC Sports Bog:

The Machine trained himself to sleep on the couch, because he doesn't like women touching him.

Gil felt like someone was controlling his shot from the stands when he missed those free throws against the Cavs.

The Stealth says he bites Awvee Storey while they wrestle. (Who doesn't, really?)

Gil: "When I get a new cell phone, first thing I do is turn it off and call from my house phone and leave stupid little messages to myself. Like: "It's me." "It's me." "This is Gilbert." "It's me." "It's Gilbert." I just fill it up, so no one can leave messages."

This last one is our favorite. Just to get this straight, Arenas immediately turns off his cellphone and calls himself with messages so no one will call and leave messages. There's a mad genius to that that's just breathtaking.

Agent Zero Stories Galore [DC Sports Bog]