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San Diego @ Cincinnati. You know, a lot of people like to look at this as a contest between two criminal-infested teams, but I don't think that's fair. At least, I think the Chargers have had cooler crimes. Steve Foley was shot by an idiot cop, Terrence Kiel was aiding in the production of the purple drank, and Shawne Merriman, obviously, took a supplement that was unfairly tainted by a vitamin company that was out to get him. Meanwhile, Chris Henry is just a dickface.

Ravens @ Titans. As if there wasn't enough drama surrounding Steve McNair's return to Tennessee, Ray Lewis had to go and get racial with it. See, according to Ray, the Titans hate Steve McNair because he's black. Just wait until they figure out that Vince Young isn't just a guy with an impeccable tan.

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Jets @ Patriots. I don't envision a lot of suspense on the field—the Patriots are much better than the Jets, and they never, ever lose two games in a row. But the head coaches hate each other, and I'd really really like to see Eric Mangini pull Bill Belichick's sweatshirt up over his head and beat him down like Tie Domi.

Cowboys @ Cardinals. The Cowboys will be taking on the Cardinals today without the services of defensive back Marcus Coleman. Coleman was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated on Saturday morning, prompting Bill Parcells to cut his ass. It's pure speculation on my part, but that's the sort of thing that could be a career-ender. He was previously suspended four games for substance policy violations, and if he, like Koren Robinson, was prohibited from drinking after that, he could get a Koren-esque one-year suspension.N