As if you didn't know, the Asian Games begin today in Doha, Qatar. And no one involved is taking any chances. One of the events is chess (seriously), and before they can compete, all participants had to be tested for performance enhancers.
"I would not know which drug could possibly help a chess player to improve his game," competition manager Yousuf Ahmad Ali told Reuters. "But, yes, there will be official monitors who may demand that players undergo a drugs test after the rounds."
Out of habit, Floyd Landis appeared on HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel to deny any wrongdoing.
We wonder if they will also test Orry, the official Mascot of the Asian Games. Modeled on a native antelope which was almost hunted to extinction and now exists only in captivity, Orry is not bitter, instead preferring to entertain Asian Games spectators with his playful antics. He also has a special page at the Asian Games web site, in which fans can download screensavers that feature Orry participating in different Asian Games sports. And yes, chess is among them. It got us to wondering: Is there anything in the world less sporting than shooting an antelope which is seated at a desk playing a board game?
Ticket Agent: "Welcome to United Airlines."
Anna Benson: "One ticket to Qatar, please."