At last: The first round is over, and we have our eight winners. For all the talk of potential upsets and the supposed mis-seeding of certain competitors, there was only one first round "upset": Stephen A. Smith took down Ozzie Guillen, and that was a shaky seed in the first place.
But now we're to the final eight, the Elite Eight, if you will, and it's gonna get tight. The updated bracket, from the great Jim Cooke:
So, time for the nitty-gritty. The final eight commences, with Chris Berman, who cruised past Farney in the first round, against Matt Leinart, who had little trouble with Rick Sutcliffe, who was unable to solve that thing. The tale of the tape.
No. 1 Seed: Chris Berman
Changed the way you thought about pickup lines.
United Tony Kornheiser, Keith Olbermann, TRL, prime-time NBC programs and an awesome teenager who's "stupid, just stupid."
Spawned the first piece of Deadspin clothing.
No. 8 Seed: Matt Leinart
Drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals.
Consumated sexual relationship with Paris Hilton.
Impregnated USC basketball player.
Discovered what life with the Buzzsaw is really like.
So, go vote: Who is headed for the Final Four?