Michael Jordan Clears Himself of Excess Baggage

Well, now I get to post while drinking. Fun. For your information, I'm drinking Yuengling because I'm at my parent's house and it's a choice between this and lactose free milk.

Anyway, Michael Jordan and his wife of 17 years and six championships, Juanita, officially filed for divorce today. So far there's no reason stated for the divorce, other than the fact that they both are saying it's "amicable", which one can only assume means, "she's getting a sweet settlement". It's also safe to say that Jordan and Oak will soon be embarking upon a beaver poaching tour of epic proportions. Those rustling noises you hear are the sounds of millions of opportunistic vaginas twitching simultaneously.

Michael Jordan, Wife Divorce After 17 Years [USA Today]