Barry Bonds Unlikely To Stay "Pals" With Mark Sweeney Much Longer

Barry Bonds has been dodging, ducking and weaving the Inspector Javerts of Major League Baseball and the U.S. government for so long that it's almost second nature to him; he has moves that would make LaDainian Tomlinson envious. According to this morning's New York Daily News — which remains three steps ahead of everybody else on pretty much every steroid/amphetamines story — Bonds tested positive for amphetamines last year and, when busted, tried to blame it on a teammate.

When first informed by the MLB Players Association of the positive test, Bonds attributed it to a substance he had taken from the locker of teammate Mark Sweeney. Sources did not identify the drug in question but characterized it as a serious stimulant.

So jeez: Not only is the guy taking steroids meant for cattle, now he's doing meth! Man, we can't wait for this guy to break Hank Aaron's record! What a moment that will be!

Another fun part of the story: Bonds, in accordance to MLB's policy, was not punished for the positive test but instead "referred to treatment and counseling." Man. "Hi, I'm Barry Bonds, and I take amphet — you know, just get the fuck out of my face, dude."

It's a march for history ... coming this April!

Failure Leaves A Testy Barry [New York Daily News]