Despite our lack of Spice Girls and refusal to call anything "the loo," soccer bon vivant and World Cup slacker David Beckham has rejected Real Madrid's contract offer and is headed to our shores. Didn't we fight a war to prevent this kind of thing?
That's all according to the London Times, anyway.
The Times understands that the former England captain has also decided on the next stage of his career and will turn down the opportunity to return to the Premiership, instead moving to the United States, with Los Angeles Galaxy the most likely club he will join.
Beckham Will Reject Real Deal And Turn His Back On Europe [London Times]
Tom Cruise Has His Hooks Into The Beckhams [Deadspin]
Stop The World We Want TO Get Off [Deadspin]