He Might Want To Lay Off The Nickname In Jail

So, for all of those who were losing faith in the justice system, you might this morning find yourself with some faith: Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson is going to serve some jail time for the probation violation that involved all the, you know, artillery. A judge in Chicago sentenced him to 120 days in jail, though he will likely end up serving only 60.

During the sentencing, Bears coach Lovie Smith and linebacker Brian Urlacher served as "character witnesses" for Johnson. We particularly enjoyed Urlacher's attempts to help.

In the week before the Super Bowl in Miami, they went fishing together, Urlacher said. "I don't think he's a criminal. I think he's a good guy," Urlacher said. "My little daughter calls him 'Uncle Tank.'"

OK, we call bullshit. Not only do we doubt that Urlacher's daughter has ever hung around with Tank Johnson — let alone know him well enough to have a nickname for him — but, uh, fishing? In Miami the week before the Super Bowl? Right. Was Tank even allowed to leave his hotel room?

Anyway, two months for a full armory in his house, an arsenal that was being guarded by a drug dealer (who was subsequently shot a few days later)? Not bad.

Bears' Star Johnson Thrown In the Tank [Chicago Sun-Times]
Armory's Getting Locked Up For A Few Months [The Noise Ratio]