I'm all for setting world records and general feelings of accomplishment, but I usually stop when any of the following are involved:
• Second-degree burns and blistering from the sun
• High blood pressure
• Sore and swollen eyes from sunblock in the goggles
• Toothpick fish (the second paragraph under parasitism will terrify you)
• Abrasians from his wet suit rubbing against his skin
• Bull Sharks
But yesterday, Martin Strel finished up a swim that featured every single one of those things, swimming the 3,272-mile length of the Amazon river. That's a tough man, and I am awed by his persistence. And now, because he was willing to endure such hardship, he gets... I don't know, I guess he gets to say he swam the Amazon river. Seems like a high price to pay for a conversation starter at parties.
There's a website dedicated to his quest, where the his journey's being documented.
Martin's nausea and diarrhea have subsided but he's still very dizzy and needs someone to help him with walking when he gets out of the water. Strangely, he tells us he doesn't experience the vertigo when swimming, only on land. We expect him to cross the finish line later today.
Some of the team found a frightened three-toed sloth tied to a pool table at a seedy portside bar. We bought the tormented animal for five dollars and released it into its natural jungle habitat.
Great. Now how the hell is he ever supposed to shoot pool again?